Living In the World, Not on It

The three fastest-growing diseases in America today are diabetes, Lyme disease, and sports jerseys. Wearing a jersey used to be for kids. You be Tom Brady and I'll be Darrelle Revis. Now people with actual jobs are wearing them. At 6, it's adorable. At 36, deplorable. You can't swing your arms at an NFL game without hitting somebody in one. (A very good idea, by the way.) You say it's your way of expressing devotion to your team? I say try a hat. It doesn't make you look like an adult Trick-or-Treater.  What's your jersey dream? Someone shrieking, "Oh, my God! There's Brian Urlacher! Oh, wait. No, no. It's just Justin from purchasing."? Women in jerseys? Fine. But dude, you're really going out with another man's name on your back? Do you have no male pride? But like gluten-free beer, the jersey flood seems un-damn-able. But can we at least have some rules? Jersey Rule No. 1 : You may not wear a jersey past ...

I am often bamboozled by people, clothing choices and the obsessive need to have the latest, greatest... or even the need to be dressed up. I am a jeans and sweater person, or (even worse), a cargo pants and tight but too casual shirt person. This has been a bone of contention in every company I worked for that had any kind of dress code at all. Imagine what I've been experiencing the last three and half years. I've become used to my husband. As much as Luis will not bend his will for my insane requests (put dirty dishes in the kitchen, put dirty laundry in the bedroom, please don't leave the cereal box open - note that none of the requests are quite what they should be - put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher , put the dirty clothes in the hamper , put the sealed cereal box away in the pantry ), he does acquiesce to my greater knowledge of what colours work with one another. This is a miracle and a boon. It's bad enough that he is the equivalent of a 14-year-old (immat...

The best image went up a couple of days ago, so there was no reason to post it here. Our installation dinner was a success, and I think all who went had a great time. The food was excellent, the drinks flowed, dancing was ongoing and everyone was smiling and having fun! What more can one ask for? Our youth squad, all beautifully dressed for the event and ready to show us old-timers how to really get down and party! The conga line. Luis is sorry he missed that! Jack from Car 69 and me having a good time! The Macarena at full strength and me front and center. I'm not the best in show for this but I know the steps and have a lot of fun doing it. I enjoy the coreographed dances like the Macarena , Cotton-eyed Joe and others. My five years of service award - yay! It's hanging in my office at work with my high calls plaque from 2005. Next year I hope to squeeze in another high calls one. It feels good! I'm not exqctly sure of the signifigance of the paper bag with the smiley...

How often do I want to blog weekly about a show? So far, though, I think I have had something to say about most of the episodes. And I have never been a fan of Donald Trump - there is no denying his prowess as a business man, however, tycoons rarely appeal to me and his employment practices where the show is concerned bother me. Yes, I know... it makes better television and apparently the normal employment laws don't quite apply to this sort of thing. Still... I've posted "Just Fire Dennis Rodman Already" (30 March) and "Celebrity Apprentice 2009" (20 March) - I thought I had said more, but apparently not. I'd thought I had posted about the wedding dress episode but I don't see anything. Well, onto the last airing (Sunday, 5 April, 2100)... Clint Black and Melissa Rivers faced off as team leaders in the last episode, entitled "Trump Makes a Surprising Decision". They have the rather unenviable task of developing a "viral video", ...

I, as usual, agree with Penn & Teller. This is not unusual, since we seem to think alike on many, many issues. They've addressed quite a few different topics, many of which we agreed with. This is one of them. I see the value pornography and the three stooges (ask Penn, not me) who argued against porn are idiots. It serves a purpose - a good one - and while you shouldn't have your five year old watch it, what's wrong with seeking out a great orgasm? Since when is that a crime? Who doesn't want to have a great orgasm? The people fighting against porn, who probably couldn't get laid if they drugged someone up and fed them all the right drugs, seemed to find ways (completely unacceptable) to tie it in to rape. Rape is a domination crime and has nothing to do with sex. Sex is the tool used to dominate, but other than that, there is no connection. Take it from one who knows. When I was 17 I was date raped. This is a fact, not a pity party. Wondering why I'm so op...

Some interesting tidbits found in The Institute for Bathroom Readers Uncle John's Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader : "1. American friends touch will each other in conversation about twice 2. British friends generally won't touch each other at all 3. By comparison, the French can't keep their hands off each other, they average 110 touches an hour 4. But Puerto Ricans were the most tactile in the study, with about 180 "touches" in the same period" This is something that I mention in orientation to my new hires: harassment is any percieved action considered to be unwelcome. One of those things is standing too close to another, but for each person and for each culture it is different. I've noticed that Greek and some Eastern Bloc nations denizens will stand very close and if you inch away, they'll follow you as you go. In their cultures, standing very close is percieved as showing an interest. OK... In our culture it is considered to be 18" that m...

STOP! Before you read this, read the previous post, Easy Does It . It will give you a basis for this post. "Overthinking can wreck our emotional health, says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D., on the basis of her studies over the past decade. A professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, she provides answers to some common questions: Do men ruminate too? Women do it more than men, but that doesn't mean that men don't do it at all. And it takes on a different character. Our research suggests that men are more likely to ruminate about anger and angry situations, and it comes out as angry, grudge-bearing self-righteousness. Women tend to focus much more on depressive and anxious themes: "What's wrong with me that this person doesn't like me? What did I do wrong?" And they focus on whether they can control something in the future, particularly with regard to relationships. "How can I keep my husband interested in me? How can I make sure that everybo...

There is something about life that I'm wholly unqualified to comment on, but, because I see a lot of these particular ones and the owner's behaviour toward them, I'm going to comment anyway. (Let's be honest... when is being wholly unqualified to comment on something ever stopped me?) I'm sitting in my usual corner of the couch, happily reading other blogs, checking the weather, doing my own blogging. My wonderful husband is laying next to me, feet to me, head in the corner of the couch (it's one of those sectional things, and his head is in the strange part that bridges the gap from this wall to the other). He is laying here in his underwear, a pair of boxers (one from Big Dogs that I had gotten him years ago). And how many times has he scratched, moved or adjusted them in the three or so hours we have been engaged in our separate but together hobbies? Answer: Countless! I only can lay claim to having breasts, and frankly, most of the time, they go completely ...

Men and women are not equal. My husband said that last night and he is right. 100% correct. We have the right to do things, to be things, to share in the things that men do. That's fine. I am all for women and men having all of the same opportunities and rights. But to say that we are equal? No, that is not right. Men and women certainly are not equal physically and anyone who says that we are in an overall sense would be full of it. Men are generally bigger, taller, bulkier, stronger humans than are women. To say anything else would be false. It would patently be wrong to do that, to say that. Women are smaller, shorter, not as strong. We aso have higher pain thresholds than men. Men can do heavy lifting, women can do detail-oriented, dexterity intensive work. OK, so physically we are different (besides the really obvious things like gender-specific body parts). Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let's look at the other things. How about how our brains work? Men in g...

This is an interesting article... Judging from the kind of mail we get at Men's Health from men seeking relationship advice, I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship. When you consider that half of men say that they're currently not with their soul mates, that means a heck of a lot of slushy machines are waiting to be turned on. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, and being in the right place at the right time that kick-start many a relationship, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall -- and stay -- in love? About 60 percent of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship (sex com...

I love men! It bears repeating. The look of them, the smell, the silkiness of their hair, the smooth firmness of their muscles... everything. Their eyes... oh, and the chin. Very important. Chins are key - men must have a good strong chin. I have no idea why that is a "thing". Give me a good, strong cleft! (There is a limit to how big a cleft there should be.) My first lover had a wonderful chin! I loved that man's chin. He may not have liked it but I just had a thing for it. It was square but not huge, and went so well with his face. He also had the loveliest eyes. Also key. He had a lot of great qualities. The only issue we had was two virgins don't make a "right", if you know what I mean. Two bumbling idiots made our first couple of times... awkward (well, downright painful, really. Good thing the desire to try sex is usually stronger than the fear!). But men, men are magic. What a terrible thing if we'd no men. I don't understand women who hate...