In-laws/Outlaws - Is There a Difference?

There is not. Other than one is already outlawed and the other should be, there is truly no difference.

We live with my father-in-law. Well, no, that is not right (he might think so, but that's of little difference to me); he lives with us. It's a screaming injustice in life that he does so. I hate it. It's not as though we had a harmonious relationship before but Colombia was far enough away that the torturous visits were few and far between (and still too frequent at that). You may wonder how far far enough would be... Hmmm... Pluto? Maybe? Oh, how I would love that!

No, the relationship was never a good one. Living with him, however, has created such an antipathy that at this point, there is nothing he can do to make it OK. He is an albatross. He is a constant pain that never goes away - shit, he hardly leaves the house! He tries to get us to do his grocery shopping because the FBI has infiltrated our house, his car, our cars, my parents' cars, their house... the list is endless. And despite the rules, he touches the front door of the house. No matter how much I tell him not to, he does it and it PISSES ME OFF!

There is a control issue here. He wants to be in control but it is not his house. He pays a truly paltry rent (I was pushing for a higher amount, but Luis wouldn't do it, although even he paid the whole mortgage I'd still want him out. He just makes me crazy. I have years' worth of stories. All the bullshit with him wanting grandchildren; the crap he would pull by coming to the US unannounced and insisting that he was coming to stay for a week; the time he had eye surgery (originally it was a two-week visit that somehow turned into four weeks. I was really ready to tell him that fish and visitors stink in three days and his expiration date has long since expired. Well, after living with him since May 2002, it has really run out.

He'd love it if we put him in assisted living, but he does not need it. I would love it if we put him in an unassisted living facility... in Siberia. Still not far enough away, but maybe remote enough. I just truly hate having him here.

I do my best not to torture Luis with this. But it just gets worse. He is a total nut. People are poisoning him (do you think I could get that lucky?); people are watching him; the house is bugged; the enemies are everywhere. He disconnected the computer we got for him because it is "infected". The only thing that is infected is his brain.

Oh, yes. Years of being a blameless person has created this need for "them" (usually the FBI but really it can be anyone); why take any responsibilities in life for the mistakes you've made when you can have a scapegoat and be completely innocent. He wasn't meant to be divorced; his wife was subverted. He should have lots of money (and not be siphoning off of us) but they did this to him. Oh, the litany goes on. Nothing is ever his fault.

He finally realised that the grandchildren ship has sailed. This was not an easily learned lesson. Sometimes you can actually train him, but until I finally sat down and made it clear that this topic is not open to discussion with me, he would do crazy things like tell Luis in a letter that he would pay us $5,000 to have child. Even if I wanted children I wouldn't have them with him living here! He would be trying to turn them into political, religious fanatics.

He used to just show up in the New Jersey area and demand that we pick him up at the airport or train station. In May 2000 we went to Niagara Falls. I'd been sick for a few weeks and Luis got sick on the last couple days of our trip. We drove home the 6 plus hours to a very messy house (I'd been in the middle of switching all of the company's benefits and had been working really long hours to get it all done before leaving, so the house was not in any good condition) and we get in to find a message on the machine - Luis Sr saying that he is coming to stay. Luis got a hold of him and said not to come and he came to the house anyway! Why shouldn't I have been pissed?! I told Luis I wasn't cleaning the house for him and too bloody bad if it wasn't to his liking. Maybe it would encourage him to leave sooner. No such luck.

Years of this. Years. When does it end?!