Andy Rooney on Women Over Forty
Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here
are just a few reasons why:
A woman over forty will never wake you in
the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t
care what you think.
If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit
around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s
usually something more interesting.
A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she
is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age
of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.
Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match
with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of
course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they
think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her
women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her
best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women
over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because
she knows her friends won’t betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.
A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is
not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman
over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if
you are a jerk, if you are acting like one!
You don’t ever have to
wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart,
well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in
yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old
waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk
for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are
against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an
entire pig, just to get a little sausage.
