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Showing posts from September, 2010

I Shot an Arrow...

I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What Not to Say When You're Pulled Over

I know when I was last pulled over, I said to the state trooper, "You caught me!" and laughed. He had me dead to rights and I wasn't going to argue with him. I continued to say, "I know where you guys usually sit to catch people like me who are blatantly speeding. I knew it but it just felt so good to open up the engine!" (I was doing 73 in a 50-mile-an-hour zone).

And then, to compound the mistake, I went to fish my driver's license out of my binder and it wasn't there. I said,"OH, shit, I was on call last night and I left it in my other pants!". He laughed, said to be careful and let me go. I offered to hug him, I was so grateful. I also drive at the speed limit and not a mile over for the next two weeks following that.

I strongly think the fact that I did not say, "I wasn't doing anything wrong," when I did, or waiting for him to ask me what I did to get pulled over was a large part of the saving grace. There is a small amount o…

MORE Spam!

From: Mr.Ahmed Traore [mailto:ahmedtraore1@gmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, September 16, 2010 8:27 AM
To: undisclosed recipients:
Subject: urgent assistance

Urgent assistance

Dear Partner

I am the account officer to late Mr hussein mubarak of kuwaite a well known Philanthropist after his death the bank gave me the permition to make a random draw of emails and your e-mail address was picked as the beneficiary to his Will of 7.4Million,You are required to contact me immediately to enable me update you in detail's about the process of this very golden opportunity. Mail me immediately for further details bearing in mind that the Bank has given me a date limit to produce the beneficiary.

Furthermore,I am putting it clear to you that you have choice to choose if you need this fund through boa bank here or through this bank conrespondence bank in europe to credit this fund into your account which any of your choice will be accepted by me as long as you are ready to follow up my instruction's.

Mea…

Catching Up on People (Magazine)

As you who have slogged your way through my blog know, there are five regularly issued publications that I read:

Discover Magazine
Scientific American
Human Resources Management
National Geographic

and...

People Magazine.

You can see the weirdness in that list... I read all these science and professional publications, and - sleazy, sleazy - People Magazine. Now, it is not all sleaze and slime. It does showcase other articles and it is not making stuff up the way that disgusting rags like The Enquirer does. That is really scraping the bottom. Most of the grandstanding famous people like articles about Jennifer Aniston wanting to have a child sans husband is something I might skip. More often than not I do. Some of the articles about Sandra Bullock I have read. When it comes to the famous people, it is a hit or miss. The other more human-interest articles are better.

But there are some things you just can't miss.

So let me dig through them. Nancy is away and I've got about eight weeks wo…

Another Scam!

I should start posting "A Scam A Day"...

Dear Friend,

I am sorry for intruding into your privacy as I am the bill and exchange manager of BOA Bank here in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso and I believe that you will not expose or betray this trust and confidence that I am about to repose on you for our mutual benefits.

I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of ($11.5)Million immediately to your account, the money has been dormant for years in our Bank here without any body coming for it.

I want us to team up and convince the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer(the owner of the account)who died alongside his entire family in an air crash since July 2000 and I don't want the money to go into our Bank's treasury as an abandoned fund.

You can confirm the genuiness of the deceased death by clicking on this website below.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

So this is the reason why I'm contacting you, so that …

More Really Stupid Scams!

These losers are everywhere and abound with get-money-quick schemes. Unbelievable. So here are some recent ones for you to have a look.

Hello,

I am Lt. Nora Chandler. I am a member of the U.S. Army 561st Medical Company in Iraq presently.

I have very sensitive information and a proposal for you. Please get back to me so I can give you more details if you would like to hear more.

Suffice me to say at this stage that it is in connection with a large sum of money that was discovered here in Iraq sometime in 2003 and also that it will be extremely profitable to both of us. Please open the links below as this will give you a better idea of what this whole thing is about.

http://www.chuckpita.com/700-billion-cash-found-in-baghdad-iraq
http://www.pittslive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/s_130622.html

I shall await your response via email. My email address is nora.chandler65@gmail.com.

Best Regards,

Nora Chandler

***************************************************************************

These stupid people have …

ARTICLE: 17 Ways to Safeguard Your Heart

Meet Dr. GoldbergTwenty years ago, when Nieca Goldberg was in medical school, heart disease was known as a “man’s disease”―something most apt to befall a 55-year-old businessman. Today the disease is the number one killer of U.S. women, claiming nearly 500,000 lives annually. Goldberg, now 50, devotes her career to helping fellow females protect their hearts at Total Heart Care, her practice in New York City. She also teaches the science of heart health as a clinical associate professor of medicine at New York University. But the doctor doesn’t have to look to research for evidence that diet, exercise, and stress management can prevent future problems. Even though she has a family history of heart disease, her habits have kept her health in check. “Making consistent, small, smart choices can have a huge effect,” says Goldberg. To find out how to care for your heart for the long haul, learn from this doctor’s daily practices.
Start With BreakfastHave a low-cholesterol break…

25 Best Nutrition Secrets

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Sarah Palin is on a diet. So is Barack Obama, Glenn Beck, Oprah Winfrey, Lady Gaga, Peyton Manning, the pitching staff of the Texas Rangers, all the judges on America’s Got Talent, and the entire cast of Glee. In fact, from Chris Rock to Kid Rock to The Rock, everyone you can name is on a diet. And so are you.How can I be so sure? Because a “diet” isn’t something you go on and go off of, like a prescription. A diet is what you eat, day in and day out, whether you planned to eat that way or not. So when people ask me what kind of “diet” they should follow, I always tell them to follow the one they’re already on—the way you like to eat is the way you should eat. In researching the Eat This, Not That! book series and seeing people lose 10, 20, 30 pounds or more effortlessly, I've learned that if you want to make big changes to your health, forget about following somebody else’s diet. Just make a bunch of little changes to the diet you’re already following. Believe me, it’…

Riding on Fridays

I love being on call, riding and seeing the crazy people. Gods only know how many there are.

Last night was no exception, and as I'd thought, what Fridays were like when I first started riding, almost a decade ago. We had four runs last night. First was a kid who was jumping off the swings in Volunteer's Park. Broke the knee - and but good.

Second, right on the heels of clearing from that fun, we had a half a chick fight at the bar (you could see all of us howling with laughter on the way to that call - a bar fight! YES!). One contestant was there, with a puffy eye, screaming for a cigarette and obviously not quite the normal self. Tough to think that alcohol wasn't involved (despite reassurances that no drinking was involved, one doesn't go to a bar to just hang out). But no one there was the appropriate drinking age. Go figure.

Third call was our old friend who rode on the squad a very long time ago. He's wonderful. He's quite old, but I've known him these p…

When Do We Really Grow Up?

I suppose there are a lot of people out there who just assume they are adults, that they have reached the line of maturity that labels one as an adult, not a child, not an adolescent. And by far, being an adolescent, real or imagined, is the worst.

I never liked being a child. I never liked the company of children to adults, ever. But as a child, physically, most people are reluctant to treat children as anything other than children. But I have always developed attachments to people who appreciated the adult waiting inside, the adult that somehow - at age 42 - I seem to consistently misplace.

I always liked Harry, my father. Harry is my biological father and while he missed out on a lot of things, I have to wonder if he really did. I know all people have their regrets, but would having to deal with the child me and worse, the adolescent me, be regrettable? Ask my parents, Ray and Ma, if that is true. I suspect they'd have been just as happy to miss that - those - bullets. Harry'…

Tall Men, Cops and My Inner Light

I'm reading Madeleine L'Engle's A Ring of Endless Light. In one part, the writer, Vicky Austin, is describing Adam Eddington and shares that he has an inner light that comes on. And it shines brightly when he is excited about something. And maybe, just maybe, that is what people mean when I smile at them and they say, "You have a beautiful smile!"

I really don't. I have a gap between my two front teeth and yellowish teeth (or at least not white ones) and strips across them from where those evil braces were for eight years. That is a long story in and of itself, but suffice to say that while I no longer have the Bugs Bunny buck teeth, I am a showcase for braces gone wrong.

But when I smile, really smile (as I usually do), people never see that. I see it all the time, but like my parents I'm too close to the problem to see the same thing others see. And they really don't see all that - they see the light inside come on and shine brightly for them, because…