Living In the World, Not on It

A long, long time ago I can still remember how That music used to make me smile And I knew if I had my chance That I could make those people dance And maybe they'd be happy for a while But February made me shiver With every paper I'd deliver Bad news on the doorstep I couldn't take one more step I can't remember if I cried When I read about his widowed bride But something touched me deep inside The day the music died So, bye, bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye Singin' this'll be the day that I die This'll be the day that I die Did you write the book of love And do you have faith in God above If the Bible tells you so Now do you believe in rock and roll Can music save your mortal soul And can you teach me how to dance real slow Well, I know that you're in love with him 'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym You both kicked off your shoes Man, I dig those rhythm and

I look straight in the window, try not to look below Pretend I'm not up here, try counting sheep But the sheep seem to shower off this office tower Nine-point-eight straight down I can't stop my knees I wish I could fly From this building From this wall And if I should try Would you catch me if I fall? My hands clench the squeegee, my secular rosary Hang on to your wallet, hang on to your rings Can't look below me, or something might throw me Curse at the windstorms that October brings I look in the boardroom; a modern pharaoh's tomb I'd gladly swap places, if they care to dive They're lined up at the window, peer down into limbo They're frightened of jumping, in case they survive I wish I could step from this scaffold Onto soft green pastures, shopping malls, or bed With my family and my pastor and my grandfather who's Dead Look straight in the mirror, watch it come clearer I look like a painter, behind all the grease But painting's creating, and I

I concede that you were right about this place I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace I can hold you until you turn out the light and I can't see Do you believe that we are all innately good Do you think that you would love me until tomorrow if you could Would you please turn down the radioso we can speak I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me Put my hands around your neck you wrap your arms around me I put my hands around your neck you wrap your arms around me I regret every time I raised my voice And it wouldn't be that bright of me to say I had no choice. I can kiss your eyes your hair your neck until we forgetI concede that you were right about this place I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace I can hold you until we turn out the light and I can't see I can't see.

Driving home to be with you The highway's dividing, the city's in view As usual, I'm almost on time You're the last thing that's on my mind I wish I could tell you the way that I feel But tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel No commotion, no screaming brakes Most of it's over before I awake From the ceiling, my coffee cup drips While out my window, the horizon does flips The worst part was hitting the ground - Not the feeling so much as the sound Can't help but wonder if all this is real Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel Rubberneck traffic and passersby And Slow Motion Walter the fire engine guy Stand around with their mouths open wide I heard some idiot ask if someone's inside With the Jaws of Life they tried and they tried Nobody here can know how I feel Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel I guess it's over now Cause I've never seen so much Never seen so much, never seen so much Never seen so muc

It's the perfect time of year Somewhere far away from here I feel fine enough, I guess Considering everything's a mess. There's a restaurant down the street Where hungry people like to eat I could walk, but I'll just drive It's colder than it looks outside. It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone then ya Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya Try to see the world beyond your front door. Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to Try to figure out what all this is for. It's the perfect time of day To throw all your cares away Put the sprinkler on the lawn And run through with my gym shorts on. Take a drink right from the hose And change into some drier clothes Climb the stairs up to my room Sleep away the afternoon. It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when

Once that you've decided on a killing, First you make a stone of your heart. And if you find that your hands are still willing, Then you can turn a murder into art. There really isn't any need for bloodshed, You just do it with a little more finesse. If you can slip a tablet into someone's coffee, Then it avoids an awful lot of mess. It's murder by numbers, 1, 2, 3, It's as easy to learn as your ABC Murder by numbers, 1, 2, 3, It's as easy to learn as your ABC. Now if you have a taste for this experience And you're flushed with your very first success, Then you must try a twosome or a threesome And you'll find your conscience bothers you much less Because murder is like anything you take to It's a habit-forming need for more and more. You can bump off every member of your family And anybody else you find a bore Because it's murder by numbers, 1, 2, 3, It's as easy to learn as your ABC Murder by numbers, 1, 2, 3, It's as easy to learn as y

Like a million little doorways All the choices we made All the stages we passed through All the roles we played For so many different directions Our separate paths might have turned With every door that we opened Every bridge that we burned Somehow we find each other Through all that masquerade Somehow we found each other Somehow we have stayed In a state of grace I don't believe in destiny Or the guiding hand of fate I don't believe in forever Or love as a mystical state I don't believe in the stars or the planets Or angels watching from above But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love And make it last... Like a million little crossroads Through the back streets of youth Each time we turn a new corner A tiny moment of truth For so many different connections Our separate paths might have made With every door that we opened Every game we played Somehow we find each other Through all that masquerade Somehow we found each other Somehow we have st

Unstable condition A symptom of life In mental and environmental change Atmospheric disturbance The feverish flux Of human interface and interchange The impulse is pure Sometimes our circuits get shorted By external interference Signals get crossed And the balance distorted By internal incoherence A tired mind become a shape-shifter Everybody need a mood lifter Everybody need reverse polarity Everybody got mixed feelings About the function and the form Everybody got to deviate from the norm An ounce of perception A pound of obscure Process information at half speed Pause, rewind, replay Warm memory chip Random sample, hold the one you need Leave out the fiction The fact is, this friction Will only be worn by persistence Leave out conditions Courageous convictions Will drag the dream into existence A tired mind become a shape-shifter Everybody need a soft filter Everybody need reverse polarity Everybody got mixed feelings About the function and the form Everybody got to elevate from the

Unlike Friday the 13th, this is not an oft-occurring phenomena. It happens once a year, and it is always - without fail - the Friday following Thanksgiving. After giving thanks for family, food and friends, many make it a tradition to go out and spend all their money on Christmas shopping. That would be the morning after not giving thanks for all the debt you are in anyway... and will shortly be plunging farther into that abyss. Well, too late. At any rate, an interesting bit of trivia (I do so love useless bits of information). Black Friday is so named not because as anyone who has ever survived the holidays in retail of any kind knows is the WORST day of the year to work in said retail. It is rather monikered this because it is the one day of the year that any mall-based business is in the black, not the red. Hence, Black Friday . That is all a very short-lived thing, and more so as time marches on and people turn more and more to Internet shopping. Quite honestly, I would not go an

Happy Thanksgiving! I don't like turkey... This is a perfectly fine holiday. It isn't my favourite, but that has nothing to do with any specific objections, just the simple fact that I don't have any liking for turkey as a food. White or dark meat, it is unappealing - unless there is a boatload of sauce on it. And even then, fussy person that I am (just ask Gregwa), I don't care much for the standard turkey sauce. Douse it in teriyake sauce and then there is something to drool over! But the usual fixin's (as it were) aren't workable to me - yams/potatoes, cranberry sauce, turkey, whatever vegetable, the list goes on. I live for Christmas and Easter - then we talking about Virginia smoked ham and there is no end to my love of ham! Unlike Columbus Day, where I object to diefying Christopher Columbus, I have no particular beef with the Pilgrims and less with the local Americans. The Pilgrims weren't my kind of people. They are more standard for overly religious

If we burn our wings Flying too close to the sun If the moment of glory Is over before it's begun If the dream is won Though everything is lost We will pay the price But we will not count the cost We will pay the price But we will not count the cost When the dust has cleared And victory denied A summit too lofty River a little too wide If we keep our pride Though paradise is lost We will pay the price But we will not count the cost We will pay the price But we will not count the cost And if the music stops There's only the sound of the rain All the hope and glory All the sacrifice in vain (And) If love remains Though everything is lost We will pay the price But we will not count the cost We will pay the price But we will not count the cost (And) If love remains Though everything is lost We will pay the price But we will not count the cost We will pay the price But we will not count the cost And if love remains... And do we count the cost? For some things, we do not count the co

It was long after midnight When we got to unconditional love She said, 'Sure, my heart is boundless But don't push my limits too far' I said, 'If love was so transcendent I don't understand these boundaries' She said, 'Just don't disappoint me You know how complex women are' I'll be around If you don't let me down too far I'll be around If you don't let me down It was just before sunrise When we started on traditional roles She said, 'Sure, I'll be your partner But don't make too many demands' I said, 'If love has these conditions I don't understand those songs you love' She said, 'This is not a love song This isn't fantasyland' Don't go too far A phosphorescent wave on a tropical sea is a cold fire Don't cross the line The pattern of moonlight on the bedroom floor is a cold fire Don't let me down The flame at the heart of a pawnbroker's diamond is a coldfire Don't break the

Last night was long. Yesterday was long. Longer than I'd been through in a while. The history is that Ray injured his knee at work about a month ago. He went to the hospital, then to the assigned orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Okezie, then on to Chilton Hospital on Thursday, 16 November to have the arthroscopic surgery. He was groggy but pretty much okay on Thursday afternoon, but on Thursday night he was in agony. I spoke at length to the doctor on the phone and he prescribed Ray some Oxycontin (ye gods!) and I ran out to the CVS to get it. It took some time but they finally got it in and I was able to get back to the house around 2300. I stayed until just past midnight to see that he was OK. Friday was uneventful and Saturday I had one phone call at night that Ray was in pain again. Ma stuffed him full of more pills. Sunday morning, after not sleeping at all, Ma called around 0830 - Ray is in agony and she is calling 9-1-1 to come and get him as she can't move him. (Not surprising,

The restless wind Has seen all things In every kind of light Rising with the full moon To go howling through the night The sleepless wind Has heard all things Between the sea and sky In the canyons of the city You can hear the buildings cry Oh the wind can carry All the voices of the sea Oh the wind can carry All the echoes home to me Run with wind and weather To the music of the sea All four winds together Can't bring the world to me Chase the wind around the world I want to look at life In the available light Play of light A photograph The way I used to be Some half forgotten stranger Doesn't mean that much to me Trick of light Moving picture Moments caught in flight Make the shadows darker Or the colors shine too bright Oh the light can carry All the visions of the sea Oh the light can carry All the images to me Run to light from shadow Sun gives me no rest Promise offered in the east Broken in the west Chase the sun around the world I want to look at life In the available l

I love Grey's Anatomy . They seem to hit on all the strong points in life. This week it was blind spots. Meredith came into work and told everyone that dark and twisty Meredith is gone, and now it is bright and shiny Meredith. So shiny your teeth will hurt. I'm fairly bright and shiny, but I don't find it an effort to be so. But I do understand blind spots. I have them, too. I like my blind spots. Sometimes having those blind spots allows me to be more bright and shiny instead of dark and twisty. I prefer to be open and honest about what I'm feeling and experiencing and going through. Sometimes, however, one has to not go through something until it is the right time and those blind spots are an object put there by my brain to make it a non-issue until it is time to deal with it. What things? Oh, gods, I don't know. Stuff at work that bothers me, although I can't honestly say that procrastination falls in the same category as being blind to something. Things I se

Someone told me to repeat after them: silk, silk, silk. Then he or she (it may have been Luis, but I don't remember) asked me, "What do cows drink?" I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. I answered it incorrectly. It just bounced out of my head and into my brain and clearly it was not the right answer. But I'm not quick-thinking like that, it's not how my brain is designed. That doesn't make it any better that this is the case. I'm not an idiot. But that whole "thank fast!" and throw me an object thing doesn't work. For whatever reason, I can never catch the object. It doesn't help that my short-term memory is absolutely abyssmal. It is, and quite frankly, it was never something to write home about, but it is worse now. This is in large part due to the sleep aid that I take (four nights of the week) and it is not a good thing. Someday I will get off of this. But I'm someone who needs time to think things through. When I stop myself fr

Love is born with lightning bolts Electro-magnetic force Burning skin and fireworks A storm on a raging course Like a force of nature Love can fade with the stars at dawn Sometimes it takes all your strength Just to keep holding on At the speed of love A radiance that travels At the speed of love My heart goes out to you Love is born with solar flares From two magnetic poles It moves towards a higher plane Where two halves make two wholes Like a force of nature Love shines in many forms One night we are bathed in light One day carried away in the storms At the speed of love A radiance that travels At the speed of love My heart goes out to you At the speed of love Nothing changes faster Than the speed of love My heart goes out to you We don't have to talk We don't even have to touch I can feel your presence In the silence that we share Got to keep moving At the speed of love Nothing changes faster Than the speed of love Got to keep on shining At the speed of love At the speed of

Young teacher, the subject Of schoolgirl fantasy She wants him so badly Knows what she wants to be Inside her there's longing This girl's an open page Book marking - she's so close now This girl is half his age Don't stand, don't stand so Don't stand so close to me Don't stand, don't stand so Don't stand so close to me Her friends are so jealous You know how bad girls get Sometimes it's not so easy To be the teacher's pet Temptation, frustration So bad it makes him cry Wet bus stop, she's waiting His car is warm and dry Don't stand, don't stand so Don't stand so close to me Don't stand, don't stand so Don't stand so close to me Loose talk in the classroom To hurt they try and try Strong words in the staffroom The accusations fly It's no use, he sees her He starts to shake and cough Just like the old man in That book by Nabokov Don't stand, don't stand so Don't stand so close to me Don't stand, d

My sisters and I Have this wish before we die. And it may sound strange As if our minds are deranged. Please don't ask us why Beneath the sheltering sky We have this strange obsession You have the means in your possession. We want our tea in the Sahara with you We want our tea in the Sahara with you The young man agreed He would satisfy their need So they danced for his pleasure With a joy you could not measure. They would wait for him here The same place every year. Beneath the sheltering sky Across the desert he would fly. Tea in the Sahara with you Tea in the Sahara with you The sky turned to black- Would he ever come back? They would climb a high dune They would pray to the moon. But he'd never return, So the sisters would burn As their eyes searched the land With their cups still full of sand. Tea in the Sahara with you Tea in the Sahara with you... This is not a bouncy, happy song, but it is an interesting one. I don't know what exactly Sting was writing about in this

Though I've tried before to tell her Of the feelings I have for her in my heart Every time that I come near her I just lose my nerve As I've done from the start Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on Do I have to tell the story Of a thousand rainy days since we first met It's a big enough umbrella But it's always me that ends up getting wet Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on I resolve to call her up a thousand times a day And ask her if she'll marry me in some old fashioned way But my silent fears have gripped me Long before I reach the phone Long before my tongue has tripped me Must I always be alone? Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on Every lit

October And the trees are stripped bare Of all they wear What do I care October And kingdoms rise And kingdoms fall But you go on... and on... I always loved this song, even before I loved the month of October. I'm envious of my father for having a birthday in October. I have never been crazy about having my birthday in the dead of winter. I don't mind it being in January, I just mind that it is in the winter. If I'd been growing up in Australia or New Zealand, it would have been wonderful to have it in January, as that is the summer for there! Now that I love October so much, this is just that much more fitting. The leaves, the weather, the perfection of crisp, cool air and electric blue skies and the swirling breezes that bring the brightly painted leaves down to the ground are incredible. The sights, the sounds, the odors all delight the senses. I will always love the colours and brilliance that is the middle month of autumn. The most wonderful time of the year is Octobe

A picture in grey Dorian Gray Just me by the sea And I felt like a star I felt the world could go far If they listened To what I said Washes my feet Washed the feet Splashes the soul of my shoes This song is special to me for a number of reasons. I love the ocean greatly, and understand the allure of it. I feel many things when I am walking along the shore and the waves wash my feet and splash the souls of my shoes. (Yes, I do realise that "souls" isn't spelled correctly for the usage, but Bono wrote it that way and not because he can't spell - as far as I know. Another reason why this song is special to me. I may not buy into God the way most people do but I do think that people and animals have souls. Or personality, or karma, or whatever you want to call it.) I love the meaning behind the lyrics, or at least how I'm interpreting them. Another special song to add to the pantheon of songs I love, and this time it is not a Coldplay tune!

'To seek the sacred river Alph To walk the caves of ice To break my fast on honeydew And drink the milk of Paradise... 'I had heard the whispered tales of immortality The deepest mystery From an ancient book I took a clue I scaled the frozen mountain tops of eastern lands unknown Time and Man alone Searching for the lost Xanadu Xanadu... To stand within the Pleasure Dome Decreed by Kubla Khan To taste anew the fruits of life The last immortal man To find the sacred river Alph To walk the caves of ice Oh, I will dine on honeydew And drink the milk of Paradise A thousand years have come and gone but time has passed me by Stars stopped in the sky Frozen in an everlasting view Waiting for the world to end, weary of the night Praying for the light Prison of the lost Xanadu Xanadu... Held within the Pleasure Dome Decreed by Kubla Khan To taste my bitter triumph As a mad immortal man Nevermore shall I return Escape these caves of ice For I have dined on honeydew And drunk the milk of

In the afterlife You could be headed for the serious strife Now you make the scene all day But tomorrowthere'll be Hell to pay People listen attentively I mean about future calamity I used to think the idea was obsolete Until I heard the old man stamping his feet This is a place where eternally Fire is applied to thebody Teeth are extruded and bones are ground And baked into cakes which are passed around In the afterlife You could be headed for the serious strife Now you makethe scene all day But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay Beauty, talent, fame, money, refinement, job skill and brains And all the things you try to hide Will berevealed on the other side. In the afterlife You couldbe headed for the serious strife Now you make the scene all day But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay Now, the D and the A and the M and the N and the A and the T and the I-O-N Lose your face, Lose your name, And getfitted for a suit of flames.

Step one you say we need to talk He walks you say sit down it's just a talk He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame And you begin to wonder why you came Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God he hears you Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will a

You're in control, is there anywhere you wanna go? You're in control, is there anything you wanna know? The future's for discovering The space in which we're traveling From the top of the first page To the end of the last day From the start in your own way You just want somebody listening to what you say It doesn't matter who you are It doesn't matter who you are Under the surface trying to break through Deciphering the codes in youI need a compass, draw me a map I'm on the top, I can't get back Whoa whoa The first line on the first page To the end of the last page From the start in your own way You just want somebody listening to what you say It doesn't matter who you are It doesn't matter who you are You just want Somebody listening to what you say Oh, you just want somebody listening to what you say It doesn't matter who you are It doesn't matter who you are Is there anybody out there whoIs lost and hurt and lonely too Are they bleedin

Lights go out and I can't be saved Tides that I tried to swim against Have put me down upon my knees Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing Come out of things unsaid Shoot an apple off my head and a Trouble that can't be named Tigers waiting to be tamed Singing You are You are Confusion never stops Closing walls and ticking clocks Gonna come back and take you home I could not stop the tune I know singing Come out upon my seas, Cursed missed opportunities Am I a part of the cure Or am I part of the disease, singing You are, you are, you are You are, you are, you are And nothing else compares And nothing else compares And nothing else compares You are You are Home, home where I wanted to go Home, home where I wanted to go Home, home where I wanted to go Home, home where I wanted to go

He said I'm going to buy this place and burn it down. I'm going to put it six feet underground. He said I'm going to buy this place and watch it fall. Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls. Oh I'm going to buy this place and start a fire. Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires. Because I'm going to buy this place and see it burn. Do back the things it did to you in return. Ah, ah. ah He said Oh I'm going to buy a gun and start a war. If you can tell me something worth fighting for. Oh and I'm going to buy this place that's what I said. Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head. And all the movements you're starting to make. See me crumble and fall on my face, and I know the mistakes that I made. See it all disappear without a trace, and they call as they beckon you on. They say start as you mean to go on. Start as you mean to go on. He said I'm going to buy this place and see it go. Stand here beside my baby watch the ora

Oh no, I see The spider web is tangled up with me And I lost my head And thought of all the stupid things I'd said Oh no, what's this? A spider web and I'm caught in the middle So I turn to run And thought of all the stupid things I'd done And I never meant to cause you trouble I never meant to do you wrong And ah, well if I ever caused you trouble Oh, no I never meant to do you harm Oh no, I see The spider web and it's me in the middle So I twist and turn But here am I in my little bubble Singing out I never meant to cause you trouble I never meant to do you wrong And ah, well if I ever caused you trouble Oh, no I never meant to do you harm They spun a web for me They spun a web for me They spun a web for me I never meant to do you harm. I don't usually mean to do anyone harm, but sometimes, unthinkingly, I do. I like the song and how it gets that across. An apology for doing, saying, feeling the wrong thing. I don't like to hurt people. It means a lot to m

So I looked in your direction, But you paid me no attention, do you. I know you don't listen to me, 'cause you say you see straight me, don't you. On and on from the moment I wake, To the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side, Just you try and stop me, I'll be waiting in line, Just to see if you care. Did she want me to change? But I change for good. And I want you to know. But you always get your way, I wanted to say, Don't you Shiver? Shiver, Shiver I'll always be waiting for you, So you know how much I need ya, But you never even see me, do you? And this is my final chance of getting you. On and on from the moment I wake, To the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side, Just you try and stop me, I'll be waiting in line, Just to see if you care. Did she want me to change? But I change for good. And I want you to know. But you always get your way, I wanted to say, Sing it loud and clear. I'll always be waiting for you. Yeah I'll alway

Oh, we're sinking like stones All that we fall for All those places we've grown All of us are done for We live in a beautiful world, Every day, every day, We live in a beautiful world Oh, we're sinking like stones All that we fall for Homes, places we've grown All of us are done for We live in a beautiful world, Yeah, we do, yeah, we do, We live in a beautiful world. Oh, all that I know, There's nothing here to run from, And there, everybody here's Got somebody to lean on. I love this song. This may have to be a month of song lyrics, as there are so many songs that reflect great things, that I identify with, that mean a lot to me or remind of someone. There will be a lot of U2, Coldplay and Depeche Mode lyrics in there. They are some of my top favourite groups with things to say that are worth listening to. For me... This is short song, but it says a lot that I agree with. It is a beautiful world. I once, when I first had my blog, wrote a post about living in th

...as a man? Ye gods. How does one answer that? The logical answer is yes. I have to say that undoubtedly there is a big difference in the genders. I know that there is more equality now than ever before, but still, male brains are wired a little differently than womens'. The real difference is that this does not dictate an inequality - it just makes it not the same. The same would be dull. I love to see the gender differences at work. Luis and I are a prime example. All the things that are considered a normal inherency in male mindset and capabilities are there. Luis is great with spacial relationships, offering advice, crunching numbers, looking at the world with almost no emotional interference, etc. All the things I can't do. I may not allow my emotions to colour my workplace decisions, but they are there and usually - much as I try to hide them - evident (to some degree). I have zero spacial relationship understanding, as is evidenced by my manoeuvering to get the car in a