Living in Television Hell

Luis is watching a sitcom - the bastion of the lowest common denominator - you know, the stupid people with which the world is overrun. Yes, I'm extremely harsh when it comes to telly viewing and how it equates to intelligence. Sitcoms are extremely idiotic, sexually loaded to the point of hearing "penis" on an 20:00 show (I missed when that became okay! This doesn't bother me, although there are references that do), come with laugh tracks, and just have sunk to a level that is unreal. These are designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

He is watching something called "Happy Endings" and it is beyond awful. Some people played a practical joke on a friend (which would make me rethink the friend immediately, as practical jokes are just cruel) and he reacted predictably when he found out he did not win the lottery. Now there is a rash of truly horrible practical jokes being done to everyone else as revenge. Curiously, while Luis told me I have no sense of humour, but I haven't heard him so much as chuckle or even smile during ANY of this idiocy.

Not one little chuckle.

But I have no sense of humour. The fact is I have an excellent sense of humour, but it is intellectual. I'm not putting on airs in this case. I have never, ever liked movies like Airplane or Something About Mary. I never thought that Eddie Murphy or too many other comedians were funny. None of this is funny to me, not at all. I don't like almost all of Jim Carrey's movies, he's just too dopey for me. All of this type of humour has never appealed to me.

Maybe that makes me lacking, but I'm okay with that. I like the way I am when it comes to this and I am especially glad that I hate practical jokes and jokers. None of that kind of cruelty is funny, not ever. If someone does it to you, rethink the relationship you have with him or her. It isn't worth it to be friends with someone like that. I was friends with a kid like that back in Wallington. I don't remember her name, but I do remember that we went to the pizza place across the street from the apartment complex. We each got a plain slice and something to drink (I never drink soda, so I doubt I got that). Anyway, I'm not sure why I thought something was not right, but I did. So when I sat down at the booth, I switched the slices. I didn't look, I didn't do anything, but I recall thinking that she had an odd expression on her face. When the drinks were done she got them, and I whipped the slices around.

She came back, waiting for me to take a bite. I did, a lovely plain slice of pizza. She waited, began to look surprised. She finally bit into her slice and turned colours - mostly red! Turns out she'd laced my slice with a huge amount of the hot pepper.

Her reaction was predictable: she yelled, cried, threw a tantrum, etc. I had no sympathy. Amazing how it would have been perfectly okay to see me cry from the extreme heat of the hot pepper but when it happened to her, I was the evil person and how could I do this to her? The fact that she felt it was perfectly okay to do it to me was lost on her no matter how I said it. So I left her to her sulk and tantrums and walked home, feeling really good about having dodged that bullet.

She tried a few times to renew the friendship but I was not interested, especially after explaining to her that those kind of jokes aren't funny and she was never to try any joke of that nature ever again. She wanted to prove to me how funny those jokes were. So I refused. A while later she got the message that I was not going to change my mind and finally promised not to do it ever again to me. She was good for a couple of months but then began to try to pull another practical joke. It was foiled somehow - I think someone else gave her up - and I ended it for good.

It was the best thing I ever did!