The timekeeping program, GenPro, is always running.
This is not me being unbelievably anal or just a little OCD, this is logic. I know excatly where everything is. It's just good organisational skills.
When I open Outlook it is almost entirely for the e-mail. Yes, I do know how to use all of Outlook (well, 80% of it, any way, but since I use my belovèd Franklin Covey Time Management system (the physical book, not the electronic solution), I only use Outlook for e-mail.
What is so shocking, you may ask? Be patient, I'm getting to that.
I open the Internet and the default page is Wikipedia, in English. I happen to love that site and skim over whatever interesting things it may have, such as:
Today's Featured Article
The word thou was a second person singular pronoun in English. It is now largely archaic, having been replaced in almost all contexts by "you". Thou is the nominative form; the oblique/objective form is thee (functioning as both accusative and dative), and the possessive is thy or thine. Originally, thou was simply the singular counterpart to the plural pronoun ye, derived from an ancient Indo-European root. In imitation of continental practice, thou was later used to express intimacy, familiarity, or even disrespect while another pronoun, you, the oblique/objective form of ye, was used for formal circumstances (see T-V distinction). After thou fell out of fashion, it was primarily retained in fixed ritual settings, so that for some speakers, it came to connote solemnity or even formality. Thou persists, sometimes in altered form, in regional dialects of England and Scotland. The disappearance of the singular-plural distinction has been compensated for through the use of neologisms in various dialects. Colloquial American English, for example, contains plural constructions that vary regionally, including y'all, youse, and you guys.
Pretty neat, huh? I bet you did not know that... I did but I don't consider youse to be appropriate English.
Then I came to the "did you know" section and almost immediately these words (in bold, no less) leapt right off of the page: Lick Me in the Ass...! Don't misunderstand me, I did not find it offensive or anything, but I did find it shocking - consider the source. This is Wikipedia, not some porn site or a site that I might normally expect to see something in the more, uh, common vernacular. I did eventually read the whole sentence:
...that the original scatological lyrics of Lick Me in the Ass, a canon composed by Mozart, were only rediscovered in 1991?
I can honestly say I did, in fact, not know that. (Just because I sound like a know-it-all doesn't mean I am not completely cognizant of the fact that there is a whole lot more that I don't know than do...) And I can't help but wonder if I'm any the better for it? Scatological is certainly correct. What the hell kind of canon is that, I wonder! And sparked Mozart - one of my favourites, in company with Beethoven and Vivaldi - to write such a vitriolic title to a canon? Unbelivable.