On Thursday I had my annual exam at the Obstetrics & Gynecology Group in Parsippany, with Dr. Bissinger, who is very likable and friendly, and he listens to me and shows that he cares about me and my health. It's a perfectly good place to go and I've getting pap smears and exams since I was 14 (my mother was smart enough to make sure that I learned very early how important this is). Consequently, I have never minded this part of being female. I take my mammograms in good nature as well and those are uncomfortable but a very key part of the process.
Wondering where I am going with this?
Just this: when showering that morning for the appointment, I found myself suddenly shaving everything - and I do mean everything. I'm going to see a man who exams vaginas for a living - so what if my garden isn't perfectly hoed and trimmed? I'm sure plenty of women just let it all run wild and could care less if it runneth over. But while I usually keep it fairly neat and nice, I was suddenly struck with the slight worry that maybe he'd look at it and say, "What's up with this mess?!"
Of course he wouldn't, no more than Luis would. My trimming and keeping it neat is of little to no importance to him. He might notice it if I pointed it out to him, and say, "How nice." But on his own it won't draw that kind of notice, compliment or criticism. The irony of it all, eh?
We all have our little weirdnesses and anxieties and I guess - at that moment, in the shower - this was mine. As if he would criticize. Unlikely, I grant you, and if he did over such a pointless detail, I'd be finding another doctor. I'd never put up with the God complex from doctors. I went to an ophthalmologist who was such a dick that I stood up in the middle of the appointment, told him he was an ass and never to contact me again, and went into a short diatribe about how he should not talk to people at all and walked out. He sent me a bill and I sent it back with a letter about his lousy attitude and service and if another invoice showed up it would go with a copy of this letter as well as a sternly worded letter to the AMA and that was the end of it. I'm normally a pleasant person with an excellent sense of humour - Dr. Bissinger is, too, - but this guy was condescending, humourless and just awful. The condescension was what really pissed me off. He was that way from the get-go and I finally had had enough.
My doctors are not like that. Not one of them.
But next year, when I have to go for my annual exam, I will undoubtedly find myself with razor in hand, laughing at myself and wondering why I'm worried about such a stupid thing...