Living In the World, Not on It

There is not. Other than one is already outlawed and the other should be, there is truly no difference. We live with my father-in-law. Well, no, that is not right (he might think so, but that's of little difference to me); he lives with us. It's a screaming injustice in life that he does so. I hate it. It's not as though we had a harmonious relationship before but Colombia was far enough away that the torturous visits were few and far between (and still too frequent at that). You may wonder how far far enough would be... Hmmm... Pluto? Maybe? Oh, how I would love that! No, the relationship was never a good one. Living with him, however, has created such an antipathy that at this point, there is nothing he can do to make it OK. He is an albatross. He is a constant pain that never goes away - shit, he hardly leaves the house! He tries to get us to do his grocery shopping because the FBI has infiltrated our house, his car, our cars, my parents' cars, their house... the li...

Well, let me tell you how wonderful I feel! I took yoga on Tuesday at the gym where I go (usually) with Tom and I loved it. As usual, it worked out the body and calmed the mind - I am completely bemused by that but I am not looking that gift horse in the mouth! It may not make sense but it works and works is okay by me. So that night I joined the gym, which makes it cheaper and easier to go to yoga - whether or not Tom and/or Alayna go. That was some yoga class, too. The back muscles of my legs are still stiff! But, oh, the stretching and flexibility that I managed - I have not been able to do some of these things in years! It's amazing. But today something interesting happened. A coworker came into my office at the tail-end of the day and yelled at me. This is a person I work closely with and I allowed it to happen once or twice but now this individual's run out of passes. No one should be treated in this fashion. I was quite irate when I left. No, that is too mild. I was eno...

My eight-year-old daughter Ananya was about to do her homework, but her mind was elsewhere. She sharpened her pencils. She arranged the eraser, sharpener and ruler in a row. Then she collected the pencil shavings in a pile. "Let's read the first problem," I suggested, but she began doodling. "Well, have you heard the story of the bird's eye?" I asked. Her ears perked up. I began... Long ago in India, there lived a martial arts teacher named Drona. He ran an academy in the middle of the forest where he taught the art of archery. Students traveled for miles and miles to learn from him. A boy named Arjuna wanted to be the best archer in the world. So he decided to study at Drona's academy. He lived in the cottages for students. Drona showed his students how to hold a bow and arrow. He told them to focus, "Look at where you want your arrow to go. Nowhere else." He told them to concentrate, "Think only of what you want your arrow to do. Nothing...

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she: Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is but sick and green And none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were! She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks: Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, Having some business, do entreat her eyes To twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven Would through the airy region stream so bright That birds would sing and think it were not night. See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, ...

Horny Goat Weed... Fact or Fiction? I went to the Rite Aid on Tuesday to pick up my Ambien and an antibiotic (remember those sliced ankles? Oh, yes. I cut 'em up much worse than one would think...) and standing in line, bored, I was doing what I usually do... looking around, thinking, just taking in the sights. While standing there, looking at the panorama of vitamins, I spied a bottle that read "Horny Goat Weed"... hmmm. And what do you suppose that is? A natural approach to Viagra? If that worked, then there'd be no need for Viagra. Right? Not that this is necessarily the purpose of this particular, uh, weed. Maybe that is just the name and this case the name is misleading. Very often names are misleading... but who knows? Curious as I was (enough to note the name in my book to muse about it here) I never did inquire as to its use. For one thing, I have enough hormones to sustain several women for many years. I hardly need any assistance there. For another, I was e...

I really do enjoy going to these dinners, having a fun time with all those that I know, dancing, eating good food, just having a really great time. Those guys from 69 are really wacky - they gave a whole bunch of gag gifts - something we really never do - and some of them were really awful. It's tacky of course, but it's a lot of fun, and the guys mostly seemed to love it. Kelly gave me a couple of Kleenex with hands displaying the middle finger. I can't even imagine where one shops for this stuff! So here are some photos of all the fun we had! These are the current officers being sworn in. Every one of these dinners has this - that's why they're called installation dinners. The installment of the new officers. Let's see if I can name them all (from left to right): Rich, Rick, Charlie (I think), Jack, Kelly, I can't see him, Franco, and Brian. Todd Wolf and his wife. He is also my vet for my kitties and a very experienced diver. He's also an exceptionall...

Some of you may recall that I had a post entitled "The Art of Shaving" posted on 15 January 2006. Well, this is more about that same painful topic - literally painful. I just got out of the shower, getting ready for tonight's festivities with Car 69, and now, instead of one gross suppurating wound on my left lateral posterior ankle from two weeks ago (that has gotten infected) I now also sport a bit of bright red blood trickling down my right ankle in the exact same place, from just ten minutes ago. Wonderful... Those blasted ankles! You would think that the fatty flexibility of the upper thighs would be what gets on in trouble, but no, it is the skinny, bony ankles with that one vein running down the outer very bony portion that gets me all too often. Ouch. So now I need to cover both up. The left side injury is really just too sensitive and disgusting to leave open - the wound is just awful and quite visible. It was a small cut originally and then the next shaving soj...

Not shop? For a whole year? Not a bloody chance! Yes, a woman in New York stopped shopping for an entire year. She looked at her finances during Christmas of 2003 and as People magazine described it, she "plunked down $1,001 on holiday gifts, maxed out her Visa and was 'tapping the ATM like an Iraqi guerilla pulling crude from the pipeline,' [and] she decided to undergo an 'Xtreme trial of nonconsumption'--a year of purchasing only bare necessities". I should do that, I know I should. But... no. And gods know, I am a wild spender on those things that I really want, but not on dopey things like cosmetics or shoes. I am not a typical woman that way - I don't have the usual shopping addictions of make-up, clothes or shoes. I don't buy a ton of toiletries. I am not a major redecorator or anything like that. My addictions are a little weird, although I do buy a lot of candles, something that typically is a poison for women shoppers (i.e. most women buy can...

How disgusting is THIS? I got my issue of People magazine in the mail yesterday and started reading it. In this issue, dated 27 March 2006, there is an article on page #93 entitled "Get Married or Move Out", about this rather rigid and uptight town called Black Jack, Missouri. Two different families, the Shelltrack-Lovings and the Hyde-Jarrells, could not either rent a home or get a permit to do so because they were told that they did not meet the definition of a family. If they'd just get married, it would be fine to move in. Gasp! How appalling is that? What kind of nuts live in this gods-awful town to pass some sort of ordinance in 1998 that "allows no more than three 'unrelated' individuals to share a single residence". Oh, goodness. What the hell kind of place is that?! So. Apparently the whole thing of freedom in the United States and the whole big deal about religion and state not mixing, is a total pack of lies (as I have long suspected anyway, a...

Sometimes it does. Usually when you are feeling strong and cocky, it suddenly whips up some humbling event that will immediately come with feelings needing to be examined and some apologies to be made to yourself - or worse, others. And the ridiculous packaging? Take your pick... In 2001, on 1 September at 20:22 (or so) I was involved in an MVC. I wrote the whole thing down at the time (well, the next day, I think), and here it is (there is a lot of detail in this, you may want a hot cup of something to drink while reading...): "I left the Renaissance Festival at 1630 and I was low on gas. This is not an unknown thing of late – it seems like there are not enough hours in the day to get stuff done and also with the lousy float gas gage system, it seems that I really had no idea how low the gas was. I got 38.5 miles of the way home – just 1.25 miles short of the mark. I was coming around the exit – Exit 40 off of Route 287 Southbound. The car stalled and despite repeated attempts it...

I received an Anonymous response to one of my postings, "More Thinking About Gender... from 19 Feb." I have a sneaking suspicion I know who it is. Either way, I like this person and what he/she had to say although I will never want a talk show host job. Ever. Public performing on that level is not my thing. Anonymous wrote, "Stop trying, we'll never have the answers. There with in lies one of the mystery's of life. If you figured all that out, wouldn't life be rather boring after that? Or maybe you would become rich and famous, and then you could start doing your talk show tour?" To you, Anonymous, I would say that you are right. I won't ever have most of the answers I seek. It would be the height of hubris to assume that someday I might. So instead I am realistic about this and realise immediately that this should not keep me up nights. And yes, life would indeed be heartlessly boring and meaningless once all the secrets of the universe and people a...

Big party tonight! I'll tell all about it tomorrow! YAY!

Someone sent this to me and it was too funny to pass up! Need a good laugh? A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic! 1. Don't change horses until … they stop running. 2. Strike while the …bug is close. 3. It’s always darkest before … Daylight Saving Time. 4. Never underestimate the power of … termites. 5. You can lead a horse to water but … how? 6. Don't bite the hand that … looks dirty. 7. No news is … impossible. 8. A miss is as good as a … Mr. 9. You can't teach an old dog new … math. 10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll … stink in the morning. 11. Love all, trust … me. 12. The pen is mightier than the...

I completely remember my post of 6 March with perfect clarity. I guess I hadn't waited long enough. Somewhat reassuring. I also recall all of our Monday night meeting (The RNFAS Monthly meeting) but that was... miraculously short! I can't imagine how it happened, but the meeting was a whole 45 minutes! Wow. Very happy! (This doesn't mean the issue is fixed... but at least it is not as bad as I'd thought. Still, something to wean myself off of soon.)

There are a lot of them. I understand and to some degree I envy people who tell me that they have no time for television viewing. By rights, we shouldn't. In the summer time I have a lot less time for watching the telly but in the winter... well... I love the telly. I do. It's got some really worthwhile viewing. After having mentioned many times about what a snob I am, it's only fair that I really go through the roster and genre of television viewing and really break it down. Clearly I am a snob. That's OK, it doesn't bother me. I feel that some things people should be snobs about. I don't see the value in slapstick humour (I don't see the humour in it, either) or stupid TV. And yet, the air waves are loaded with just the worst shows! I consider, for example, almost all half-hour sitcoms to be a complete waste. There are exceptions... well. There is currently one exception - "Everybody Hates Chris". Yes, that is it for sitcoms for me. These days t...

I took my Ambien CR (that CR has to do with being time-released) at 19h30. It is now 20h27 hours. I am curious to see if I will have any recollection of this posting tomorrow or - more likely Thursday, when I will next have time to write. Which reminds me, I should see if I have yoga tomorrow... hmmm. I left them a message. Guess I will find out tomorrow. As I type this now, I feel clear, lucid, perfectly normal. And delighted that our monthly meeting only took 45 minutes to get through. That has to be a record of some kind! Good night!

I actually do, too. However, I do NOT at all remember "More Thinking About Gender - From 19 Feb" (posted this past Sunday). Not even a little. I'm very happy with it. I seem to have been writing exceptionally well that night. But it was written after I took my Ambien and I recall absolutely NOTHING of writing it. Nothing. I am thinking that it is time to set up an appointment with my doctor and start the weening process, because I would like my brain back, thank you very much! More distressing, when I read it I realised that I have no idea who made the comment about my original gender musings... How sad it that? I clearly knew who the perpetrator was when I wrote the posting! I am scaring myself. A lot! I'm sure you are wondering what the possible benefits are to this. I take it so that I have a full night's sleep under my pillow for the next day. I only take Sunday through Wednesday nights. (I certainly cannot ride and take this - and I suffer for it on Friday)....

I love men! It bears repeating. The look of them, the smell, the silkiness of their hair, the smooth firmness of their muscles... everything. Their eyes... oh, and the chin. Very important. Chins are key - men must have a good strong chin. I have no idea why that is a "thing". Give me a good, strong cleft! (There is a limit to how big a cleft there should be.) My first lover had a wonderful chin! I loved that man's chin. He may not have liked it but I just had a thing for it. It was square but not huge, and went so well with his face. He also had the loveliest eyes. Also key. He had a lot of great qualities. The only issue we had was two virgins don't make a "right", if you know what I mean. Two bumbling idiots made our first couple of times... awkward (well, downright painful, really. Good thing the desire to try sex is usually stronger than the fear!). But men, men are magic. What a terrible thing if we'd no men. I don't understand women who hate...

I found this and had to post it. This is not my favourite rite, but it is still good! (c. March 21st) Spring or the Vernal Equinox "Lady Day" or "Alban Eiler" As Spring reaches its midpoint, night and day stand in perfect balance, with light on the increase. The young Sun God now celebrates a hierogamy (sacred marriage) with the young Maiden Goddess, who conceives. In nine months, she will again become the Great Mother. This is a time of great fertility, new growth, and newborn animals. The next full moon (a time of increased births) is called the Ostara and is sacred to Eostre, the Saxon Lunar Goddess of fertility (from whence we get the word estrogen, whose two symbols were the egg and the rabbit. The Christian religion adopted these symbols for Easter which is celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the vernal equinox. The theme of the conception of the Goddess was adapted as the Feast of the Annunciation, occurring on the alternative f...

Well, I did ask for it on Thursday. However, I felt that theories presented before me were erroneous and needed to be addressed. This prompted a lot of the rambling down memory lane, which is never a truly enjoyable experience. Most of my younger middle school and up days do not make me feel nostalgic in some strange gooey way. I feel nostalgia is a word with a much deeper meaning, such as dragging your adult mind/body down a trail you've been on -- and hope never to see again. I still don't want to be "Smellogg" and "Ass-in-a-sling" or "Fugly" or any of the other "warm & fuzzy" nicknames that kids visit on each other. The Anonymous commenter (who clearly may have thought he was anonymous but is completely not) said this, "You seem to have left out of your blog that you BEGGED to be psychoanalyzed.... blah, blah, blah... then you wrote a three page blurb on why I was wrong?....interesting!" He was not totally off the mark. I...

Well, let's have your thoughts on my 2/19/2006 entitled "Thinking About Gender": "Interesting sight.........here's a thought on your gender posting.........what is it about men and women, aside from the obvious physical things. That makes someone want to change from one gender to another? Are we really that different of creatures? I'm not attempting to answer this; just raising more questions. Are we really that different? Or is it a learned trait that we are different? Is somebody in our lives teaching us to act differently and talk differently and think differently? Couldn't most of this be psychological or sociological influences teaching us that were different (again besides the obvious physical) and there fore making us want to be somebody else? To change genders? Just a thought................." And those thoughts are what make doing this so worthwhile. I want other people to throw in their two-cents worth and argue the points with me! So let...