Famous People Who Shouldn't be Allowed to Name Their Children

More People Magazine fodder:

In Passages, they list:

It's a boy for country star John Rich nad his wife, Joan, who welcomed their first child, Cash - yes, Cash Rich - in Nashville Jan. 10.

Country singer Clay walker, and wife, Jessica, had their second child together, daughter Mary-Elizabeth, in Houston Dec. 27. The couple have son William Clayton, and Clay has two girls, MaClay DeLayne and Skylor ClayAnne from a previous marriage.

(It's good to see the current wife put her foot down on the ruinous ego trip that Clay has with putting his name into all of his childrens' names.) So let's see what other nightmare names have been given to unwitting children in 2009... and past.

Here's one: "On November 19, a couple welcomed their baby girl into the world. They then decided to name their baby after the unusual place of her birth -- her parents' car.

Tony Richardson and Samantha Smyth had originally planned to name their child Tilly, but changed their minds after the baby was born in their seven-seat Kia Carens when they arrived at a hospital in Poole, England, just a little too late.

"We have decided she doesn't look like a Tilly and settled on Kia," Richardson said.

"I don't think we would have used Volkswagen or Citroen," added Smyth."

What do you call some of the most unlucky people in Britain?

Justin Case, Barb Dwyer and Stan Still.

It sounds like a bad joke, but a study has revealed that there really are unfortunate people with those names in the UK. Joining them on the list are Terry Bull, Paige Turner, Mary Christmas and Anna Sasin. And just imagine having to introduce yourself to a crowd as Doug Hole or Hazel Nutt. The names were uncovered by researchers from parenting group TheBabyWebsite.com after trawling through online telephone records.

Retired airman Stan Still, 76, from Cirencester, Gloucestershire, said his name had been "a blooming millstone around my neck my entire life". "When I was in the RAF my commanding officer used to shout, 'Stan Still, get a move on' and roll about laughing," he said. "It got hugely boring after a while."

But 51-year-old Rose Bush, from Coventry, West Midlands, said she loved her name.

MORE UNFORTUNATE NAMES
Pearl Button
Jo King
Barry Cade
Carrie Oakey
Priti Manek
Tim Burr

"I always get comments about it but they are always very positive," she said.

Implications

Researchers also scoured phone records in the US and found some unlikely names there too.

Spare a thought for Anna Prentice, Annette Curtain and Bill Board the next time you sign your name.

A string of Americans also have very job-specific names, including Dr Leslie Doctor, Dr Thoulton Surgeon and Les Plack - a dentist in San Francisco. A spokesman for TheBabyWebsite.com said: "When the parents of some of those people mentioned named their children, many probably didn't even realise the implications at the time. Parents really do need to think carefully though when choosing names for their children. Their name will be with them for life and what may be quirky and fun for a toddler might be regretted terribly when that person becomes older or even a grandparent perhaps."

Notable Names of 2009

From the newsmakers that took flight—Falcon or Sparrow, anyone?—to the stories that captured our imaginations, here are the names that thrilled us, stunned us, and grabbed us in 2009.

At close to midnight, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden welcomed son Sparrow James Midnight. (Older sister Harlow Winter Kate was born in the winter of 2008.) Mama Nicole said of the choice, "I liked the way it sounded with Harlow, and there's the Captain Jack Sparrow connection." Naming stylistas will notice both Harlow and Sparrow end in "–ow." Do you think their names are "Ow!" or "Wow!" in turning heads?

The name that kept the nation's parents riveted to the TV and scanning the skies for hours, was not Max, king of the wild things, but Falcon.

Falcon Heene, the 6-year-old-son of storm chasers and would-be reality TV stars Richard and Mayumi Heene, was thought to be lost in a wayward weather balloon. The story had a satisfying, if unsettling ending. Like Max, the mischief-maker of Where the Wild Things Are, Falcon was safely playing at home the entire time and hiding in a box in the attic.

Now that more and more boys and girls can share the same names—think Taylor Swift's face-time with Taylor Lautner—one thing's for sure: There will be more same-name couplings in the future.

Kelly Hildebrandt and Kelly Hildebrandt met through Facebook, after noticing they had the same name. (His middle name is Carl, while hers is Katrina.) The couple struck up a correspondence and conducted a long-distance romance before getting hitched in 2009. (Indeed, they almost missed their honeymoon when the cruise ship thought "Kelly Hildebrandt" had been booked twice.)

Along with Riley and Riley, Ashley and Ashley, Jordan and Jordon, Cameron and Cameron, Chase and Chase, Jamie and Jamie, Sam and Sam, Mackenzie and Mackenzie, Rowan and Rowan, and Addison and Addison, Chris and Chris Reagan and Reagan, what other first-name couplings could you see in the not-so-distant future?

On movie posters, the full title is Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire, but Precious soon found itself on the lips of Oprah and Tyler Perry, who offered glowing word-of-mouth for a film about an abused, overweight, and illiterate teenager and its lead actress, Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe. At Sundance, Precious won the Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Award in drama, along with a Special Jury Prize for Mo'Nique's performance. Precious has been a top-1000 name since it first appeared on the popularity chart for girls in 1978, gradually climbing to #378 in 1996, before finding its current rank of #791.

There were no fewer than three celebrity tykes named Charlie in the past year—thanks to Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell's daughter Charlie Tamara Tulip, Julie Chen and Les Moonves' son, Charlie, and Jeremy Sisto's daughter, Charlie Ballerina. Make it four if you count Tiger Woods' son, Charlie, born on February 8, 2009.

When Heidi Klum and Seal named their second daughter Lou Sulola Samuel, skeptics initially hesitated to report the name, thinking it was a mistake like Ickitt for Mia's son, Ikhyd. (It wasn't.) Lou joined her older sister and brothers, Leni, Henry, and Johan.

Other multi-syllable monikers beginning with "S" that shone this year: Seraphina Rose Elizabeth, daughter of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, and Satyana, daughter of Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof. Sporty Spice Melanie Chisholm did it in two words, Scarlet Starr, and Tommy Hilfiger welcomed son, Sebastian.

Or maybe it isn't. Not if you're Octo-mom, Nadya Suleman, who already had six children before delivering octuplets Noah, Maliyah, Isaiah, Nariyah, Makai, Josiah, Jeremiah, and Jonah in January. (All eight children bear the middle name, Angel and the last name, Solomon).

Or the eight children of Jon and Kate Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8: twins Cara and Madelyn, and sextuplets Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah, and Joel, whose parents faced the end of their reality TV series while embroiled in a bitter divorce in the second half of the year.

And the hardest working name of 2009? Not Bronx Mowgli (the son of Ashley Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz), Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakacha (the son of Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa), or Petal Blossom Rainbow (the daughter of Jamie Oliver and Jools Norton). Instead, the title goes to Java Sumatra, the daughter of Josh Holloway and his wife, Yessica Kumala, a native of Jakarta, Indonesia. The triple-play name delivers: It's a cup of coffee, an Indonesian island, and a programming language all rolled into one.

The runner-up who almost ran away with our hearts? Bandit Lee Way, daughter of My Chemical Romance lead singer, Gerard Way.

That's about all the bad baby/people names I can take... And from 2008, is this post: 20 Worst Baby Names (http://traislinge.blogspot.com/2008/07/20-most-bizarre-celebrity-baby-names.html) - shows all those weirdo names, like Moxie Crimefighter.

Comments

Kittie Howard said…
What a super post! Soooo interesting! And I'm happy to see I'm not the only one who thinks twice about some of the names popping up. A neighbor's daughter named her daughter Bailey Whaley...and so on...
Amilya said…
What about Cate Blanchett with Dashiell, Roman (not so odd I grant you), and Ignatius? Traditional names are hot right now but I think that's going a bit too far.
My friend had the good (*cough*) sense to call her son Justin when his surname was Case. Everybody seemed to think it was hilarious, except for me. Can you imagine the hell he's going to go through in school?

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