Living In the World, Not on It

People tell me this all the time - I am selfish for not wanting children. Here is something I found and I like it - it is easy to see just who the selfish people really are... And ironically, it is mostly those who had gotten pregnant by accident and shrugged it off and now they are mired in lives that would not have been of my choosing. " Selfish? The misconception about remaining childfree that bothers many of us the most is that people who decide not to have children are SELFISH. Some data/facts on this issue: In 1992, Rathus and Nevid (both psychologists) interviewed hundreds of couples on their reasons for having or not having children. They found couples with children had 9 common answers for their decision, and that couples without children had 13 common answers for their decision. To summarize, they are: NINE COMMON REASONS GIVEN FOR HAVING CHILDREN: 1. Personal experience - to have the experience of being a parent 2. Personal pleasure - the fun and joy of r...

Actually, that depends on how much more I do with the music... I have been burning CDs like a madwoman for quite some time. I guess I started somewhere around 15:00... and it is now 23:27. This has not been ALL I have done, but it has been going on steadily for this time. Of course, now I need to start some laundry! Here is the last questionnaire I filled out about a month ago (before the one just posted prior to this): Fifteen years ago I: - I was 22 years old - was just moving in with Luis - Did not ever want children - Was happy- still didn't know what I was doing and wanted to do and hated it Ten years ago, I: - 27 years old - Lived with Luis for 5 years and we bought our first house - did not ever want children - Was happy - learned a lot but still didn't know what I wanted to do - still didn't know what I was doing and hated it Five years ago, I: - Finally figured out what I wanted to be - Learned to live with Luis' flaws and he with mine - did not ever want child...

Very often these days I receive an e-mail with "deep" personal questions, I suppose designed to make one think... I think entirely too much and am distressingly honest about myself. However, I like probing questions like those asked in these e-mails... however, I am militantly anti-chain mails of any kind so I always take out the verbiage about mailing the answers back to the originator and passing it on to the requisite number of friends. Then I send it out to those who really are close friends. No need to pass it on. So here is the latest series... 1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? Me. The whole thing, not any one part. 2. How much cash do you have on you? Two dollars. 3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Rest. 4. Favorite plant? Christmas tree - the pine scent is delightful. 5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? I have no idea. I never look at that. 6. What is your main rin...

Sometimes just knowing that something is coming is all it takes. Winter in New Jersey is not the worst thing in the world. There are plenty of other locations where I would not move to for the length of winter and the shortness of the days. Northern Canada is out, Alaska is out, as well as Siberia, Cape of Good Hope, Cape Horn, any of the Aleutian Islands... I am not a lover of winter. Still, it is not all sunshine and roses here, either. It is lovely in the summer - the days are long, about 15 hours long, and the sun sets with great slowness and there are the long twilights. In that way, being a little more north might be nice... say, a 17 hour day... I could go to Maine or southern Canada and have that. But conversely the winters are only 9 hours of daylight - here - and so 18:00 feels much the same as midnight. I find it harder to stay awake to bedtime, let alone any later hour. And getting up is a misery when it is so deeply dark outside. But it is what it is. At least they make fu...

(Unless They are Close Friends') OK, I realise that my feelings about kids are fairly plain. I have never made a secret of it and never pulled my punches about how much other people's kids bother me. It is NOT a flaw thing or a blame thing (although the gods' know that there are plenty of poorly behaved kids thanks to lousy parents!). It is simply a matter of kids - normal kids - just getting on my nerves. I was a kid, too, and undoubtedly got on people's nerves and would absolutely have made me the adult just as crazy as any kid would! I just have zero ability to put up with perfectly normal, well-behaved kids. We'll touch on bad kids or poorly behaved kids later. When my friends have children, as they are doing now, it is a wholly different thing. Sure, they still might annoy me but not nearly as much as just any kid that I don't know would. I enjoyed my pen friend’s son and daughter in New Hampshire and I love Matthew. Stephanos is special, too. I feel that ...

It is really, really, completely wonderful to be working again. This is a totally different experience from all other places I have worked. I won't get into the total nitty gritty as usual - I have made it very clear from the get-go that there will be no details of the job that I am currently on, no discussion of anything that is confidential. No opinions, either. As stated previously, people have been terminated from jobs for less and I am not about to push that luck. But generalised things are perfectly acceptable and this is mostly about how I feel about working, not about work or the people there. I will say that I am very happy - I really do enjoy the company of my coworkers a lot and find them to be intelligent, worthwhile people to know. Most of my experience is in manufacturing. I love manufacturing - there is a lot to learn, not just the HR side (not that I don't know HR but how any given company likes to do things) but the technical side. I make it a high priority to ...

I love music. After that, anything I say is really just gravy, me yakking away and filling up space. So if you are totally satisfied with the very core statement of "I love music" then this is where you can stop reading and ignore my ceaseless prattling... But it is never that simple, and no half-decent author of any kind will stop there... books would never get beyond a few pages! I don't love ALL music. Let me be perfectly clear about this! Certain genres are almost exempt in toto from my tastes - not totally - someone will always sneak in one or two good tunes in almost any genre, but for the most part, the genres I have zero interest in are as follows: Rap Gansta Rap Country Western Country & Western Top 40/Pop Bubblegum Pop Acid Metal If I think of more I will add them. In the meantime, that does cover most of it. Top 12 artists for me (not in order, as they all compete equally): U2 Depeche Mode Barenaked Ladies Coldplay Led Zeppelin Rush Dead Can Dance Siouxsi...

Clearly, as with everything, there are exceptions. When I signed up for the "Do Not Call" list, I honestly and stupidly thought this meant that ALL of the abuse would stop. The local yokels, my credit card, other credit cards, surveys, political messages, the list is endless. Apparently, it is not quite that endless. The PBA and every scammer operating under that and other police orders I have never heard of can still ring you up during the dinner hour. Surveys are exempt from that as well. And in the aftermath of an election that included the Mayor of Parsippany, it is painfully clear that in the interest of really pushing candidates down the voters' throats, they are entirely too exempt. Had they limited them to one call per household per week, I could live with that. But between the political surveyors and the "get out an vote" squads each candidate employed, my phone was ringing off the hook. I voted last Tuesday night. I did my civic duty and felt... well.....

Well, it has been an age since I have posted to my blog! That's not good. I guess I wasn't doing this all 21 days - I read that it takes 21 days to form a habit. So why is it that takes minutes to break a good one? I was watching a show called Bones and I had to laugh in shock and disbelief at something the lead character has said in last week's show - the one that aired on 11/01/2005 entitled "The Man in the Bear". At the end of the show, after they'd caught the killer who, it turned out, was a cannibal, she said, "But is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, or was he nuts the first time he ate flesh, or did he just lick his fingers after surgery?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Who comes up with this? Not that it wasn't an amazingly effective line... it certainly got my attention. As someone whose hobby frequently allows me to be up to my elbows in blood, the idea of ingesting it is... well... truly horrifying. I mean,...

Spring forward, fall behind. I fell behind. I cannot get my ass out of bed on time at all these days. Once the clock goes back, that is it. Case closed. Not that I won't recover, but the first week at work is baaaaaddd news. Why should this week be any different. Next year I will have four weeks added to Daylight Saving Time and I cannot wait for that! It will make it easier I think. (I hope!) Normally, I go to bed at 2030 or so and then get up around 0425. I get in the shower, get dressed and then drive into work around 0530, arriving at close to 0600. No worries. Somehow when the clocks go forward and when they go backward, even though I still go to bed under the new time (the clock reads 2030 but in my heart/body/brain, I know it is either 2130 or 1930), I cannot get up! Not for a half hour or so. It has to do directly with suddenly seeing or not seeing light. I don't explain it - I can't - I just tell it like it is. I manage my time well. Regardless of how weird it is a...