Who is the Selfish One?

People tell me this all the time - I am selfish for not wanting children. Here is something I found and I like it - it is easy to see just who the selfish people really are...

And ironically, it is mostly those who had gotten pregnant by accident and shrugged it off and now they are mired in lives that would not have been of my choosing.

"Selfish?
The misconception about remaining childfree that bothers many of us the most is that people who decide not to have children are SELFISH. Some data/facts on this issue:

In 1992, Rathus and Nevid (both psychologists) interviewed hundreds of couples on their reasons for having or not having children. They found couples with children had 9 common answers for their decision, and that couples without children had 13 common answers for their decision.

To summarize, they are:

NINE COMMON REASONS GIVEN FOR HAVING CHILDREN:

1. Personal experience - to have the experience of being a parent
2. Personal pleasure - the fun and joy of raising children
3. Personal extension - carrying on the genetic heritage or family name
4. Relationship - the close bond which is shared with children
5. Personal status - culture affords some respect just for being a parent
6. Personal competence - gratification from facing the challenge of parenting
7. Personal responsibility - the opportunity to look out for the welfare and education of another
8. Personal power - some find the power they have over children gratifying
9. Moral worth - some feel it is a good and selfless act to put the life of another first, or that it is a moral obligation to have children

THIRTEEN COMMON REASONS GIVEN FOR NOT HAVING CHILDREN:
1. Time together - more time each other and for other interests

2. Freedom - more opportunity to pursue other areas of life

3. Other children - can enjoy other children, and can help children who are already here through foster parenting or charity work with children

4. Dual careers - both people may pursue careers full time, a person (woman) does not have to quit, and a child is not raised by day care

5. Financial security - more money to pursue other interests

6. Community welfare - greater opportunity to get involved in community organizations

7. Difficulty - parenthood is a demanding and difficult job which is not always enjoyable

8. Strain on environmental resources - the world is already overpopulated and is unable to support the people who are already here

9. Increase in overpopulation - having children geometrically increases this problem and all of the problems that come with it

10. Choice not mandate - parenthood has to be a choice, not everyone is meant to be a parent

11. Irrevocable decision - once the decision is made it cannot be changed, so people must be sure it is what they want

12. Failure - some people had unhappy or abusive childhoods and fear that they would not be a good parent

13. Danger - the world is a dangerous place and it is not right to bring a child into it

In our opinion, it seems that all of the 9 reasons given for having children are selfish; they are all about what the parent will gain for themselves (love, bonding, etc.). While only 5 of the 13 reasons for not having children are selfish, the other 8 involve concerns for the world, the community, and the child that would be born."

People just mindlessly jump into the procreation game mostly without a thought to finances. I have realised that people will give some considerations to having children but mostly they just go ahead and start pumping out babies without stopping to think that maybe from a fecundiary standpoint this is not the wisest course of action. It is a shock. Or (and I love this) they accidently become gravid and have the attitude that this must be meant to be and what the hell, I will have a child. A rather casual attitude about an undertaking that will follow you the rest of your life.

Not that people should not have them but a lot less should. Most are terrible parents. The population is staggeringly high and this planet cannot support it all. Just from a nature standpoint. The earth is 70% water. This leaves 30% of the surface as land. Of that chunk of land, only maybe 40% of it is truly arable land. The rest is waste, either under ice, snow, permafrost, desert or some other completely inhospitable condition. So now fill all that up with the 6 billion or so humans running around. Sounds like a recipe for disaster? You betcha!

I look at natural disasters as all part of nature's plan to 1. replenish the earth and 2. knock off some of the infestation that is the human race. And other animals/plants/insects that fall into the category of population control needed. It is sad that so many die in this or that catastrophy, but it is the course of nature. These hurricanes and tornadoes and volcanoes and floods and pestilence and earthquake issues were around long before we were and will continue long after we are gone.

So, who is the selfish one?