Oh, My God, I Hope Not!

"'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?'

I apparently am not, but neither are the adults that go on FOX’s new show to win some money and show the world just how smart (or not) they are.

FOX’s “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader” debuted last week conveniently located after “American Idol.” Audiences could watch Simon and the other “Idol” judges praise or criticize how much or little talent people have on “Idol” and then move on to watch grown adults try to match wits with 10- and 11-year-olds while host Jeff Foxworthy cracked some jokes.

Here’s how the show works: One adult contestant has to answer questions in subjects such as reading, math, physical science, animal science and astronomy. These questions range in difficulty from first to fifth grade, and as in “Who Wants to Be A Millionaire,” answering questions correctly moves the prize winnings up a money ladder.

The contestant also gets to choose one of the show’s 5th grade kids as a classmate for two questions each and, if need be, either “copy” (copy the kid’s answer to the question and hope it’s right) or “peek” (look at the kid’s answer and decide whether to use it). If the adult gives a wrong answer and the classmate gives a right one, the kid can also save the adult once, but all three of these aides are just available once.

If all else fails, the adult can also drop out of the game, but has to say directly into the camera, “I am not smarter than a 5th grader.”

Last week’s round of adults didn’t have a chance against the precocious kids. The first contestant, a UCLA grad who went on to law school, couldn’t even answer one question correctly without the aid of his 5th grade classmates. Since that poor soul broke the ice, the show’s contestants have done a little better, but no one has even come close to the $1 million goal on top of the money ladder.

So what gives? Are the majority of adults truly less book smart than a bunch of 5th graders? I don’t think so. It’s a little suspicious that the kids have so far not gotten one answer wrong. Even “Jeopardy” whizzes screw up some times. How well the kids are doing raises a lot of questions about the show. Are the kids given booklets to study ahead of time, while the adults just have to wing it? Are the questions really at the grade level they’re listed as?

I don’t have the answer to those questions and, even if the whole show is a big joke, I don’t care. “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader” is entertaining and also a fun way to test just how much you know.

Sometimes you might be surprised at how much (or little) you know. I certainly was. I had a 3.9 GPA in college and yet couldn’t answer some easy questions that I’m sure I learned in elementary school. For example, I couldn’t remember the name of the ship that the pilgrims sailed here on. I could remember the name of where they landed and even remember quite a few Puritan authors, but I couldn’t remember the name Mayflower.

I think part of the problem is that, as we get older, we become more specialized. When you’re in elementary school, you learn a little about a lot – astronomy, history, children’s books, animal science – you name it. By the time you go through college, you start learning a lot about whatever areas you major and minor in and just a little “general education” about all the other subjects.

Once you enter the workforce, you become even more specialized and a lot of time don’t remember whether polar bears live in the North or South Pole unless it’s part of your job to know about polar bears or you’re just interested in them.

And so, FYI, based on my new favorite TV show, I am not smarter than a 5th grader when it comes to animal science, astronomy and … oh yeah … the Mayflower.

But I never liked those subjects anyway … so there."

Below this article was a CGI script to add the reader's comment, so I did. I really couldn't help myself...

"This is very interesting and the theory that we become more “specialised” as we travel through life and gain more knowledge is a good one.

However, Danielle is correct, the Dewey Decimal System does not include fiction or science fiction or young adult books. I know this because I worked in a library when I was 15 years old. I am now 39 and I own a million books and have not been in a library in years.

While we do forget things, and we do become bogged down in details, I still find it appalling what people don’t know. And there is what I commonly refer to as the “lowest common denominator”, which is also appalling. The audience that ends up on Howard Stern, loves only sitcoms, reads nothing and cannot name the 9 (now 8) planets.

I did not like math in school and I probably would get fried on that. But I have a fair amount of confidence that I would be able to handle the history, astronomy (for me, that would REALLY be a no-brainer) and spelling.— Aislinge Mar 3, 7:27pm"

I certainly HOPE I am smarter than a fifth-grader!