How Stupid Do You Think We Are?

Just a few samples of scam e-mails from mental midgets who, instead of getting a real job like normal people are actually doing this...

From: INFO@ATMCARD.COM
(WARNING: Do NOT trust any e-mail address like this!)

"OFFICE OF THE SENATE HOUSE
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT
(RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT)
IKOYI-LAGOS NIGERIA
Our Ref: FGN /SNT/STB
YOUR REF:CLAIMS/ATM/882

This is to officially inform you that (ATM Cash Card Number 5179123456789120) has been accredited in your favor.Your Cash Card Personal Identification Number is 822. The ATM Card Value is $900,000 Thousand USD. You are advised to contact Mr. Tom Smith for delivery as soon as possible:

Mr. Tom Smith
Email: dhldeliverservice2009@hotmail.com
Tel: +2340699495

with the following information

FULL NAME:
DELIVERY ADDRESS:
PHONE NUMBER:
COUNTRY:
OCCUPATION:
SEX:
AGE:
EMAIL:
Note Carefully: Cost of delivery is $ 95 Dollars.

(Say, "Hello, Gotcha!")
　
KINDEST REGARDS,
(SEN). LAWRENCE NWAEZE.
CHAIRMAN SENATE COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT"

At least this joker is just aiming for the $95.00 per moron. This is low-key and subtle enough to get some idiot (and gods know there are plenty) to fall for it. Keep reading for the bigger ones...

************************************************

From: amed.bek@adnet.com.uy

(WARNING: Do NOT trust any e-mail address like this!)

"FROM THE DESK OF AMED BEKO
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) OF BURKINA
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO

Dear Friend,

ASSALAM-U-ALAIKUM.

I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department in the BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) OF BURKINA FASO OUAGADOUGOU, WEST AFRICA.
　
I am writing,following the impressive information about you through one of my friend. He assured me of your capability and releability to champion this business opportunity.

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of U.S$10.5M US dollars (TEN Million five hundred US dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in DECEMBER 2003 in a plane crash.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we can not release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidlines and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I in my department now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and i don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after seven years,the money will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreign as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe can not stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

We agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 5% will be set aside for expenses incured during the business and 65% would befor me and my colleagues. There after I and my family will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relation or next of kin to the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or e-mail the text of the application.

I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer. You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter for more explanations.

Thanks

Yours faithfully,
AMED BEKO
Bill & Exchange Manager"

It's hitch free, huh? Other than you getting all my personal information and sending some thug to come visit? What a deal...

*******************************************

From: drjameswilliams@ramler.ru

(WARNING: Do NOT trust any e-mail address like this!)

"From Dr.James Williams.The manager of bill and exchange African Development Bank, Cotonou Benin Republic( West Africa).
REMITTANCE OF (US$18.5. Million) CONFIDENTIAL IS THE CASE.

Attn:Dear Friend,

I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department in the African Development Bank (A.D.B). In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of US$18.5m dollars (EIGHTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich, Germany) who died along with his entire family on (Monday 31st July 2000) in a plane crash.

FOR MORE INFO VISIT THIS SITE BELOW:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/world/europe/8579.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking gildings and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill. The banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after TEN years, the money will be transferred into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund.

The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Benin indigene cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. I agree that 35% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foreign account , 5% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application .I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch-free and you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer. You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.

Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours Faithfully,

Dr. James Williams.
+229 97 266 00"

Traislinge's note: I must've just fallen off the turnip truck yesterday. What person with the Queen's English would allow such a mismanaged letter to go out? And my, this dead body theme is getting old, indeed. Let the $10,000,000 get soaked into the government treasury. I guarantee you in West Africa that money can buy a lot of food.

***************************************

From: info@uohyd.net.in Hyundai Auto-Mobile Company

(WARNING: Do NOT trust any e-mail address like this!)

"Your Email address have been picked as a winner of a lump sum pay out of(£750,934.00 GBP)in cash credited to file REF NO.REF:UKHY/BD-3113BD. Your Email Ref Number falls within our European booklet representative's office in United Kingdom.
========================
Dr.Edward Phil
Email :lotagent03@gala.net
Tel: +447045748818
=========================
HYUNDAI PROMO WINNERS BIODATAS

1.FULL NAMES:___________

2.ADDRESS:____________

3.City________
4.State________

5.Postcode_______

6.Country_________
7.SEX:_____________

8.AGE:______________

9.OCCUPATION:__________
10.TELEPHONE NUMBER:_________"

Traislinge's note: at least the other e-mails offered US dollars. These jokers are under the guise of a car company giving away a huge amount of pounds stirling... and how is that branch of Hyundai managing that when most car companies are losing money?

**********************************

From: jerrymike@msn.com Jerry Mike

(WARNING: Do NOT trust any e-mail address like this! Sadly, this looks like anyone's address; except that of a bank!)

"Attention.Friend

Its my pleasure to inform you that i have verify from the bank director regarding the transfer of your fund and it was good news because the requested fee was less expessive for you to afford.

your consignment containing your fund($800.000.00) i have deposited it with the BANK OF AFRICA so that your fund will be wired to your account immediately you contact the bank director with your banking details. However i went to BANK OF AFRICA to discuss this with the bank director as its has not been delivered to you

However he told me that your fund can be transfered to you via a direct wire transfer(KTT) into your account.He told me to instruct you to contact the bank to apply for a direct wire transfer into your account to avoid loosing your fund due to delay.Therefore you can contact the bank with below information, send to them your banking information.

BANK OF AFRICA OF BENIN REPUBLIC

20/22 HOSPITAL ROUTECOTONOU

BENIN REPUBLICE

MAIL=bankofafricgroup@ubbi.com

Telephone=+2299123774/+22997106643

BANK OF AFRICA FOREIGN OPERATION DIRECTOR.

DR.LARRY ANGELA

Send an email to the bank with the above bank email and apply for your wire transfer as i have informed the bank about you already.On receipt of your fund into your account endeavour to inform me immediately you receive your fund in your account. the director told me that the only fee you are to pay is $195,00 usd for the opening of new international account here in there bank that will be use to transfer the fund to your destinated account in your country and it will also serve as the bank transfer charges.

Thanks Remain Bless

SECRETARY JERRY MIKE"

Traislinge's comments: If blessings rain down upon anyone's head, it shall hopefully be yours while you rot in a jail cell somewhere.

There are a smattering of other junk e-mails: selling me viagra, online pharmacies, so and so gets naked, the usual mishmash of inappropriate and mind-bogglingly stupid things. Also my gender is a total cypher to the spammers of the world so they all send me the wrong gender naked people and offer body part enlargements for parts I don't have! You'd think a modicum of sense would go into this.