Round Three of XXI Olympic Madness!

I love the more... hardcore sports. The speed skating is my favourite for the skate-related events. The luge is total madness and fun to watch. I'm trying to patiently wait for the skeleton (luge on steroids, if you can believe it.

On the other hand, the ice skating still has its appeal. However, and this sounds awful, I am seeing that the mens' ice skating isn't, uh, well... The skaters are so effeminate. I'm watching the other athletes and there is no mistaking the men from the women. Not so with the ice skaters. The pair skaters are a bit more delicate than your regular event men, but the single skaters are practically indistinguishable from the women. That is a little weird.

The top male skater was Yevgeny Pleshenko. Nice skater, technically very adept and good, but kind of uninspired; not feeling it. He was kind of flat to me. Luis saw it, too. But the Japanese guy, Daisuki Takahashi, was incredible! Very strong technically but put his heart and soul into the number. He was phenomenal - and he was very little and delicate. He also had a recent ACL replacement and to perform like that so soon after was incredible. But the judges scared him slightly below Yevgeny. I wasn't impressed with that. There is a lot to be said for an adept skater, but more to be said for one who clearly does this out of love.

So tonight I have been just watching Olympics - women's luge, women's whaddya call it... the snowboarding (not my favourite event to watch, but the accidents are cool. Before you say it, I found Olympic accidents fascinating before I went into EMS. Now I just find them more interesting...), men's ice skating... a mix. The best snowboarder has been Maelle Ricker, who really did an amazing job for the first run. In one of the qualifiers she had a crash that was pretty ugly (although they all seem to walk out of them, which is good), but she did an amazing job after. In every single race, someone goes down.

The announcers call them crashes, but most of them just lose steam or have small accidents that stop them. But Maelle wiped the place up! GOOD FOR HER! The Canadians are really doing so well - and I imagine there is a lot of great psychology to performing in your homeland - or the team that represents the host country.

Apolo Ohno, who I always found rather annoying, has really impressed the hell out of me. He has been head and shoulders above the rest. The one race was something to see when all three Koreans looked like they had it wrapped up but two of them wiped out just a hair before the finish line and Apolo was the silver winner. I'm not sure if he felt like this is a huge victory - he would not have placed at all had that not happened. And maybe I'm wrong - every single men's short race had at least one contestant wipe out.

We watched the women's speed skating, and the one woman, a very tall woman in orange (I don't remember her name or country of origin) but she really had a hell of a fall - crashed into the padding ringing the ice hard enough with her neck that I was sure she was injured. I know they walk off the ice, but some of them shouldn't. They should be boarded and collared just like we do with car accident victims.

I'm very happy I'm recording these and watching the Olympics after the fact. Most of them air either during the day (working) or in the wee hours of the night (sleeping). The prime time stuff is good, but I am adamantly opposed to viewing adverts so I'm happy to be two days behind and viewing them when I can blow through the ads.

(Last night I did not watch any Olympics. Greg and I went out for dinner and had a great time - as we always do. The man makes me laugh and we were fast friends from the moment we met. And I miss having a friend like that at work. I don't often get to make friends in the professional setting. He's the best.)

The Canadian skater, Patrick Chan, did a great job. Good skater... but the judges scored him poorly as well. But he made errors that were obvious. I wonder how these athletes stand the pressure. It has to be an outrageous amount of pressure to win.

I see a lot of competitiveness - everywhere - but this is not like normal-life competition. This is very intense, highly emotional competition. I don't know why I gravitate to the Olympics. I never watch any televised sports (I don't watch any sports full stop) but this is different. I've been watching the Olympics all my life. You can pack a lot of Olympics into 42 years, I'm surprised to say.

The first Olympics I can recall at all is the 1976 XII Winter Games in Innsbruck, Austria. The 1976 XII Summer Games was in Montreal, Canada. I've been to Montreal, gorgeous city (not as good a trip as it could have been - I was there years ago in January). The Olympics stood out, however, because of Bruce Jenner, who was amazing. And of course, Nadia Comaneci of Romania, who was every girl's hero. Hey, I know it is hard to imagine now, but I did gymnastics when I was five through eight - not the insane stuff like uneven bars, but the floor exercises and balance beam (stop laughing - I wasn't the physical mess then that I am now!).

Oh, I like the guy with the bones skating outfit! Who is this yummy specimen? And hey! Great music! I love, love, love Muossursky's A Night on Bald Mountain! It's slightly jazzed up (I'm a purist and don't like when they mess with the original piece) but it is still a great piece to skate to! This guy is really good - I like the skating and I love his face and not too bad a body! Kevin Van Der Perren of Belgium.

Hey, look! The skater from the Czech Republic, Tomas Verner (I'm sorry, I still can't figure out how to get the diacritacal marks on letters on my laptop) is on! Oh, but not good. He took a spill while doing Zorba the Greek. He really lost his heart then. This is what I mean. It's one thing to play a sport all the time and throw the tools of the trade around (like a baseballer throwing the bat in a pissed off moment) but these guys are on once in four years.

I love Morgan Freeman. He's doing a voice-over for Visa. Probably the only advert I've watched the entire how many hours I've watched the Olympics since Saturday night. (Good gods, I never watch this much telly in a month, let alone five days!)

Oh, yoiks. Look at this one. Not the bastion of masculinity... I know it shouldn't matter, but seriously. He did a BEAUTIFUL triple axle, though! Evan Lysacek - good music taste, too - The Firebird by Stavinsky. I grew up in a musical family. Even though I can't play any other instrument than my iPod, I do appreciate great music! Wow! He cleaned up the place with his short program! Hey! He came in second with a score of 90.30! Pleshenko is still first with 90.85, but I still am not sold on him as a gold winner. Evan certainly had his heart and soul in it.

Jeremy Abbott is up now, with - oh, good choice! - A Day in the Life by the Beatles (but not as good as the original). And a very down-to-earth, normal looking outfit. Black pants, lavender shirt, purple vest. No flashy sequins or feathers or holes or floating pieces. Good music, good technique, good show! Unfortunately he had some problems executing the jumps.

Oh, more musical fun! Michal Brezina is skating to Puttin' on the Ritz - and doing an excellent job! He did a triple axle that was perfect! Of course, I'm cheering - he's from the Czech Republic, so I love him already! I'm not one to do that normally, but some places - like people - hold a special place! (Daniela, this one's for you!) GREAT JOB! He's 19! Damn. I couldn't do that when I was 19... I can't even stand up on skates now!

I could never do this if only because I just can't take myself that seriously. But I'd rather be me and laugh at myself than be so serious and well... uptight about this.

I'm not sure who Dick Button is, but the Olympics are interviewing him and he has on these freaky-big boots. I mean, they are HUGE. What are these gunboats? Why wear these humoungous clonkers that make his feet look enormous!? Okay, look (it's not just me):

"Have You Noticed the Size of Dick Button's Shoes?

Have you seen Dick Button's huge shoes while he sits opposite Bob Costas for Olympic figure skating commentary? His gigantic feet dwarf those of Bob Costas. And it isn't just huge feet; the boots are thick and very heavy looking. You wouldn't want to get kicked by one of Dick Button's gigantic feet.

Dick Button is a two-time Olympic figure skating gold medalist, having won in 1948 and 1952. Olympic figure skating during those years took place at an outdoor skating rink. Dick Button was born in 1929, and was the first man to land a double axel in competition (1948 Olympics), and the first man to land a triple jump in competition (1952 Olympics). He has been a fixture in figure skating analyses for decades.

But what's with those humongous shoes? Geez. Dick Button's shoes look like they each weigh 20 pounds. There will be plenty of Dick Button to watch with the 2010 Winter Olympics, as he periodically gives figure skating analyses in response to Bob Costas' questions."

It wasn't just me who noticed those clodhoppers! I was pretty sure if they popped out at me, they did to someone else, too!