A Posting and A Response!

A couple of weeks ago, while aimlessly looking through other blogs, I found a new one - "Send Chocolate". I loved the title, and of course this is what grabs people's attention... not unlike a résumé, where the candidate has a mere 8 - 12 seconds to grab my attention. It did, though, and here I am telling you about it and spreading the word around that this is fun reading. I was very impressed by it and posted a comment on it:

"I give you a lot of credit and I love the way you write. We probably would not see eye-to-eye in a religious sense. But I don't care and I plan to return to read your blog more. I love what you write about your kids.I am not a person who understands, appreciates, or likes kids. I like older kids that can hold their own conversation and read a lot and are clearly ahead of most people, but smaller fry are a mystery to me. Even as a kid, I preferred the company of adults. But a parent who can see the intellect in their kids and who clearly loves their kids as you so obviously do, well that is priceless. And no doubt they will drive you to distraction. They all do that, it is the nature of kids to test those limits! But even when they do make you nuts you write them well.Thank you for such a warm, fuzzy, funny blog!"

Well, wasn't I thrilled when this message came in my e-mail!

"Thank you for the kind comments you left on my blog. I have some comments of my own, both based upon your post and your comment over at Send Chocolate.

Believe it or not, we agree on many things. I do think that being faithful and monogamous is hard, but it is a challenge to make us stronger. I also feel that there is more to sex than just the act, and by spreading myself around when I was younger, I was hurt emotionally in ways that I may have avoided had I thought twice about the sexual aspect. Of course, at the time I thought I was just a 90's liberated woman, I took what I wanted and left the feelings. So I thought. Don't get me wrong, I like sex! A lot. But with the right person, for me, it forged something deeper than just the crazed animal coupling that sex can be.

I also agree that many don't understand God and the way he works. I don't pretend to understand it all, because I never will. But for me, I understand enough. I have said for a long time that what keeps me a Christian is Jesus Christ, not his followers. Heck, if I looked to the church for my faith, I would have walked a long time ago! People are fallible, and no matter what, they will continue to be fallible. I think that's where the love comes in. If you can love people who make mistakes, aren't like you, and don't do things the way you think they should be done...then you are getting it. That's what Jesus meant when he said, "Love Your Neighbor." It is so easy to judge and so hard to love! At least, I think that's what he meant. Maybe he meant buy 'em a sub sandwich. Seriously, I don't think we go wrong when we try to love.

We are not so different, you and I. I used to be involved in college theatre and SCA. The Rocky Horror Show, bad poetry. It was some of the most fun I have ever had. But we had kids, and something had to give. Turns out, it was me...and I have learned a lot about how to give. (and I am still learning).I wrote a book and I apologize. Your comment touched me and I had to come and see the "home" of the wonderful person who wrote it. Thanks again."

And while I though about the wise words and the different point of view offered, I waited for the right moment when I would have time to really respond to the well-written message I got. And so I answered:

"Greetings and salutations, TLC!

I really like what you wrote - and no apologies for writing a book! I love books and you are a worthwhile writer, so it's all good. I really enjoy your blog. You think about things and then write about them and that is what it is all about! That is the same reason I write on my blog. To tell others about my experiences, yes, but also because hashing them out in writing allows me to cogitate on it more and come to terms with the bad and exult in the good!

I am curious... you homeschool but the kids have schools? Or am I confused? How does that work? Do you need to submit a curriculum or prove to the state or county or someone that your kids actually have half a brain? Does the bureacracy (sp?) step in at any point? I suspect that on a great many levels homeschooling is better. I loved the posting on all the reasons why you do (and don't) homeschool. You write volumns, too, rich with detail and I am learning from it. I love to learn. Any day in which I learn something is not a waste.

So here is a sticky wicket. I'm sharing something distressing from work, something I don't often do. [Removed do to having work-related content] This is why I try not to make [close] friends at work.

Loving is never a bad thing, I agree. There's no wrong there. And sex with that one special person is an incredible, amazing, breathtaking (literally and figuratively!) thing. I've been doing that for 16 years now with my husband. But the temptation is always lurking around and the fact that I haven't procreated is definitely making it much worse. The moment I turned 35, my hormones went into overdrive and my OB/GYN tells me that it may not let up until I hit menopause! AAAAAAAAAA! I'm only 38! Years of this sort of drive will definitely put my husband in an early grave (but what a way to go!)...

I don't understand God but then I don't quite see religion or its main figurehead the way that most do. I don't picture a Zeus-like older man with white hair and a halo on an ornate throne. I don't think that God even slightly resembles man, but is rather just an intangible, invisible thing... the thing that gives a person in distress the strength of ten, or allows EMTs to go to the next bad car accident, or humans to survive the most brutal conditions. I certainly don't think God is telling people, "Your way is the only right way and would you please kill off anyone who does not agree?" That is just criminal that the Crusades and the internecine wars in the Middle East are due to "my God is better than yours".

Yes, I would not look to the church for anything, really. We do see Jesus differently, though... I do believe that man named Jesus did exist historically and definitely had an impact on the times he lived in and throughout history, but I don't believe that he was the son of God. Sorry - I know that must sound odd. But I just don't buy that part of it. He said good things, and that is usually good enough for me.

Buying a sub sandwich would probably make me hit with any of my neighbours, ha, ha! I see what you mean and agree. Love is always better.

I love the Rocky Horror Picture Show! I'm more of a serious telly viewer now - hand over the CSI series and no one'll get hurt! But I have the soundtrack to the Rocky Horror Picture Show and love it. I have never had children and never will but I leave that to the people like you, who have a clearly definited ideal of what they want to give to their child and not just have them, 'cause, gosh, what is there after marriage or it is the next step.

Oh, I still work at Renaissance Fairs - two in Connecticut and one in New York. I love that. In the summer I have three jobs - my regular job as an HR Manager, my volunteer EMS work and being a wench!

Well, I wrote a book back and plan to post it as well. It was a thoroughly enjoyable trip! Stop by the blog any time!

Ash"

Looks like the start of fun and learning filled correspondence! Or at least mutual blogging, also good!