The End - Celebrity Apprentice

Sometimes one gets lucky and the reality show is not total drek. I really did not have a high opinion of The Apprentice. At first I thought this is a publicity stunt to just show what an ass Donald Trump is. I was right, but it still turned out to be a pretty good show.

So this season it was the celebrity version of The Apprentice; ten "celebrities" (and here I use the term rather loosely) are brought in to make money for their choice of charity. They each had their different charities. Some made money for their charity and some did not.

The contestants: (in order)

Tiffany Fallon (2005 Playboy Playmate of the Year) - A totally unmemorable woman who may be hot but so what? And I hate to say this, but Playmates are 1. a dime a dozen, 2. being Playmate of the Year 2005 doesn't make you business savvy, 3. being a playmate doesn't confer intelligence or interest in anything. And I do know one or two playmates - this is not one of them.

Nadia Comaneci (Olympic gold-medal gymnast) - OK, anyone in my age group or older has heard of Nadia and may even remember her from the Olympics - I do. Again, this does not make her qualified. Not to mention that there are much more recent athletes who are more of celebrities than Nadia. Short-lived and unsurprisingly so.

Gene Simmons (KISS frontman) - Well, we all know Gene Simmons, right? Big mouth, the tongue, the days of dressing up crazy and having big hair and bigger shoes. Forget that aging has not been his friend; it hasn't done anything for his personality, either. I could never tell if he was being funny or was a harassment case looking for a place to happen. In any event, describing him as a abrasive, arrogant and untreachable works. Arrogant is the biggest descriptor. He was quite annoying and I was happy to see him go.

Jennie Finch (Olympic gold-medal softball player) - Another totally unmemorable person and again, not really qualified to be called a celebrity. If she qualifies, so do I... and I know no one has heard of me. Once again, he could have shopped out this spot a lot better.

Vincent Pastore (The Sopranos) - Now, I really like him and he was interesting to see. However, in this last episode he really presented as though he did not know the difference between reality and the character played in The Sopranos. He spoke and acted as if he was Pussy in the show that made him famous.

Nely Galan (producer, Telemundo) - And yet another unknown. She's butt-ugly and I did not have any caring for her from the getgo. And she is another unknown. I'm not sure how they come to the conclusion that she is a celebrity. Maybe she is in a Spainsh-speaking country, but here, she is just another person walking down the street.

Marilu Henner (Taxi) - She was fun and bouncy and very ADD. I wasn't too surprised to see her go. In her case, maybe she would be an excellent poster child for Ritalin. Still, she was a good worker and I had no issues with her being listed as a celebrity.

Tito Ortiz (UFC champion) - I have heard of him, once or twice. I imagine he is well known. Nice guy, but not project manager material. He tended to be invisible. So much so that I often forgot he had any involvement at all in the show.

Omarosa (Apprentice Season 1 contestant) - The spawn of Satan and not - by any means - a celebrity. Not even close. She was reviled in the first season of Apprentice and she certainly made a poorer, pushier presentation in this show. She also wore inappropriate clothing; she was less competent in this show but she was usually not as bad as the others fired earlier and then she dodged a couple of bullets by being on the winning team. While I may not be a Piers fan, she was completely out-of-line and so horribly unprofessional with him that she should have been fired in that episode.

Stephen Baldwin (The Usual Suspects) - Here is a conundrum. He reminded me of Mitch in looks (in a strange way - but none-the-less...), was a former drug addict and loose cannon who turned his life around but in the process became a Born-Again Christian (as so many do... shiver), then became a deacon or minister or whatever the religious heirarchy is called. Ugh. He could get a little overbearing with the religious references and being holier-than-thou; however, he was overall a good guy. He certainly had an interesting dynamic with Piers Morgan.

Lennox Lewis (former heavyweight champion) - Very sweet; wholly unqulified to manage a team or run anything. He was not invisible like Tito but he was usually used as the face to launch the product. He did not mind the role and he was likable, but not a good match for being the project manager.

Carol Alt (model/actress) - Stunning and somewhat smart, but she made a couple of huge - and I do mean huge - gaffs for which she should have been fired. The first time she made the astronomical mistake, she was on the winning team. So she was protected from being fired. The second time, Marilou Henner clearly threw herself and another teammate (was it Omarosa?) under the bus wheels to save Carol. I forget who she brought in (I'm sure it was Omarosa and someone else) but she should have brought in Carol. So the striking Carol got to make it to the next to last episode.

Trace Adkins (country music singer) - The winner by far. I can ony say good things about Trace, although at the outset, I felt he was too sweet and quiet to pull this off. But he turned out to be the quiet driving force behind many great ideas and his personality is such that he is lovable but strong - in a totally understated way that garners total, unwaivering support from his adherents - which everyone is.

Piers Morgan (America's Got Talent) - A completely ruthless, all-about-winning kind of guy. He is not a totally evil person but he is not a nice person. The one time I was on his side was the episode where Omarosa was terribly abusive to him. There he was the victim - not that he could not stand up to her, but that she said such disgusting, vile things to him. He's an ass, but credit where it's due - he'd have been well within his rights to slap her, and he did not. A physical assault might have made up the verbal one she gave him.

Well, Piers Morgan made a lot of money, there is no arguing with that. He whipped out the phone, contacted many very impressive people and I won't argue that he worked hard to put the magic rolodex together. No one is born with that (unless he was royalty but honestly, he's another overseas wonder that happens to be on this show. At least, I never heard of him until this. Then again, don't go by me for someone's popularity - I'm usually the last to know.

I have to give Trace credit anyway for dealing with the Backstreet Boys (who are more like the Backstreet Middle Aged Guys) with their list of demands (so to speak). The scene in the final episode was the best! They called Trace (or he checked in on them) and one of them forgot his black (wait for it) nail polish! Trace had to go out and get it for the crazy guy who'd forgotten in. He made the funniest faces and was totally incensed that he had to go out and buy this.

But my vote, money maker or not, was likely where everyone else's was - Trace Adkins. Tall, good-looking, sweet, loving father of two with an adorable wife and that quiet authority that seems like commeraderie, the quintessential leader. He might take longer to make the same amount of money, but he won't steam roll everyone in the process. Piers looks out strictly for Piers.