Thinking of the Future

It's getting me down but it is weighing heavily on my mind. I need to let it go, but at the moment I'm not ready.

I've been watching the second season of The West Wing, which is an amazing show. I would vote for President Josiah Bartlett in a hot second. I wouldn't even need to think about it. Martin Sheen - who knows? But his character of Jed Bartlett? Absolutely.

But that isn't what is dragging my better spirits down. I can completely sympathise with the character that was the President of the United States. He knows his time for running the country is limited. Two reasons: 1. the President can only hold the office for two terms (which in some ways is a relief) and 2. he has multiple schlerosis, which is NOT the same disease I have. Wondering why I said that? Everyone - non-medical and medical people alike - confuses it with MS instead of MD and it is amazing. But it is similar in that we both be disabled earlier than we'd like to be.

I know my time to remain active is limited and I'm not ready for it. The fact is that it won't be tomorrow and I don't think it will happen in the next five years. It may even be longer. The EMS side won't last as long, clearly, as it is a much more physical job.

But I'm still not ready for it.

It's too depressing.

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