Memory and Music

After I finished listening to Bill Engvall this morning, I put on Barenaked Ladies (yes, that is the name of a musical group). I love Barenaked Ladies and I haven't really listened to them in some time.

I'm happy I did. I know the lyrics to a huge percentage of their songs, and I remembered them all. It's amazing what the brain holds on to. What is more amazing is how memories are evoked by certain songs or odors or visuals - although more often than not visuals do not actually stir memories.

The song that really got me today was When I Fall. I was listening to that song when I pulled up to this house around 0700 the morning of 1 October 2002 with my parents van loaded with two cats, their things, and all the kitchen stuff. Talk about a big moment. We had sold our house on the other side of town and bought this one. I sat in the van with this song playing and cried... not sad crying, just a strong emotional response to this. I know, we moved four miles away but it is still a big change. I love this house and I loved it then. It was just such a huge thing.

And the lyrics to this song are particularly emotional:

I look straight in the window, try not to look below
Pretend I'm not up here, try counting sheep
But the sheep seem to shower off this office tower
Nine-point-eight straight down I can't stop my knees

I wish I could fly
From this building
From this wall
And if I should try
Would you catch me if I fall?

My hands clench the squeegee, my secular rosary
Hang on to your wallet, hang on to your rings
Can't look below me, or something might throw me
Curse at the windstorms that October brings

I look in the boardroom; a modern pharaoh's tomb
I'd gladly swap places, if they care to dive
They're lined up at the window, peer down into limbo
They're frightened of jumping, in case they survive

I wish I could step from this scaffold
Onto soft green pastures, shopping malls, or bed
With my family and my pastor and my grandfather who's Dead

Look straight in the mirror, watch it come clearer
I look like a painter, behind all the grease
But paintings creating, and I'm just erasing
A crystal-clear canvas is my masterpiece

I wish I could fly
From this building
From this wall
And if I should try
Would you catch me if I fall?

There a lot of songs that mean a lot to me, but this is a strong song. The whole package, lyrics, music, everything.

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