Be A Mind Leader

This is an article by Steve Gilliland, a motivational speaker that I have seen and thoroughly enjoyed! Oddly enough, to my friends; but unsurprisingly to my coworkers!

"If only Joe Friday, the no-nonsense officer from television's Dragnet series, could be the voice inside our heads, reminding us to focus on thefacts. Instead, the voice inside our heads sometimes is more like George Costanza, the paranoid, oversensitive, and over reactive character from television's Seinfeld series. Some days it is as if a tornado is happening in our head. There are thoughts soaring around everywhere, your boss to please, family to think about, friends to consider, bills to pay, schedules to keep and on and on and on. We've all had those days. Intellectually we know we can't change or control the circumstances of the day, but shouldn't we be able to be in command of those voices in our head, direct what they say and do, both to and for us?

Managing the voices in your head is not easy. Getting them to concur and work with you instead of against you can be out-and-out exasperating. Last year after speaking at an event, the meeting planner mailed me the evaluation summary from the participants. 98% of the attendees ranked me 5 (out of 5), while one person scored my presentation a 1. To be a mind-leader, you have to consider how much someone else's opinion of you is a result of his or her own "stuff." Maybe that one participant evaluated me badly because I reminded her of an ex-boyfriend. Whatever the motive, certainly that is her stuff, or issue, not mine.

Regrettably, much of what is said in our head is based on assumption, supposition, or downright bogus information. For example: someone doesn't reply to my email so they must not want to talk to me. Or, maybe the person is just as busy as I am and hasn't been able to see the virtual bottom of their overflowing inbox in weeks. Someone walks right by me in the grocery store and didn't say hello. They must be mad at me. What did I do? Do they not like me anymore? Or, maybe the person had a sick child at home and was running by the grocery store for ginger ale and saltine crackers and their pressing need had them single-focused and rushing to the checkout line.

But our internal voices tell us otherwise, don't they? Next time your internal voice jumps to an emotional conclusion, ask yourself, "What else could it mean?" And listen for Joe Friday's voice and not George Costanza's. If you are tired, fatigued or stressed out about work or your personal life, all of these conditions can lead to a distorted perception of reality. They can also lead to more harsh reactions and high sensitivity. Have you ever over reacted only to realize later that what you reacted to really wasn't so bad after all, which then led you to somber damage control? You must pay attention to what is going on in your life and manage the emotions of your mind.

Becoming a mind-leader is not effortless. Most of us know what to do, but struggle with doing it consistently. Yes, just as the bad habits take practice to get rid of, the good habits take time to form and take hold, and remember that those voices in your head have been talking to you habitually for years. Spend time paying attention to how you react to things and determine how you want to react and how you'd like to respond differently. Get good at looking at the facts in situations that have an emotional attachment (baggage) for you; these are the ones most likely attached to habitual, but not necessarily accurate thinking.

A neighbor, friend, or family member who pays no attention to you is all right. By exercising effective internal voice management, you come to the conclusion that they are dealing with their "stuff." It isn't about you or something you've done; it is about them and their present circumstances. Monitor how much you care about what other people think. If someone doesn't like you, or support you, that is okay. We tell others that we can't make everyone happy and that we won't please all the people all the time, yet why is it that when it comes down to the business of managing our own internal voices, we conveniently delete the message?

Be careful not to fall into a dialogue with yourself that may have no basis in truth or accuracy. Just because something may have been a part of your past, it shouldn't get in the way of your present internal mind management. The next time someone doesn't respond or react to you the exact way you thought they should, be cautious not to assume or over react. The next time something happens that triggers a habitual thought process, look at the facts (the complete picture), and blunder on the side of reasonable doubt instead of assuming guiltiness because of your past circumstances.

A mind-leader is the meeting of the minds and harmony between the voices inside your head which is where we find happiness and contentment. The extent to which you can pilot your own voices will determine your ability to focus on what is truly important and make an enormous difference in your individual and professional life."

Maybe this is what all those crazy Bridezillas need: Steve Gilliland's book, Enjoy the Ride. I loved this book and should read it again, to regain my balance, and to keep my cool as tomorrow I return to work after a week-long absence. It will stress me out when I see all the stuff awaiting me. But I must say that while I did not get a lot done while out, I did log in each day at least once to check my e-mail and did ccomplish the payroll and 401(k) upload and transfer for this week. One thing Joe did not have to do... if he had to do anything. And the first thing I do tomorrow is organise all that work awaiting me by priority, set down certain items for each day, and get it done. I suspect that as much as I want to go in on Saturday, that will only be a short trip in and I will do most work at home.

I think this weekend will be much like last for both of us - do nothing.

This article is so me. I do all of that. I overthink everything and worry over comments that I should not. It is crazy. I need to post this in my office somewhere, like on my monitor or on my desk that says something simple, like BE A MIND LEADER. Just that one phrase to not jump to stupid conclusions.

Be a Mind Leader!