Ten Signs a Book Has Been Written By Me:

This is kind of a strange thing... I've never put together something quite like this!

1. It starts out normal but continues on and on. I'm thinking it will be a trilogy comprised of five books (think David Eddings)

2. The title has to be something witty, like Lumps in the Sugar

3. The mian character is me, but will have a different name and not only by intelligent but not so ADD and physically stunning; dark hair, hybrid but deep eyes, a face that can support tons of thick curly hair like Julia Roberts' in Pretty Woman, and a killer body!

4. The pages are uneven parchment with old style font numbers

5. The font has to be Garamond. Or maybe Old Bookman

6. It will come out on tape with the voice of James Earl Jones or maybe the guy on Boston Legal who plays - oh, yes, James Spader

7. The cover jacket will have the stunning me in a Renassaince Festival outfit

8. The extreme religious right will burn it, but that's okay, it will be the number one best seller so they can't buy 'em all! Anyone too stupid will want to kill me and I will have to live in Ireland in secrecy to avoid the insulted parties trying to kill me - but I won't have to pay taxes and I will get to hang out with Bono

9. When it's made into a high-budget movie, Janeane Garafolo will play the role of my written persona; The title song will be Spring by Rammstein - oh, and will have to be a ten hour epic four part or more film because of all the music that has to be in it to satisfy me!

10. My husband will be played by Antonio Banderas (yowza)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Interesting Aftermath a From Season Five of "MasterChef"

Image
Do I agree with this? You will have to read it first and decide for yourself. I had long since made up my mind before finding this article. MasterChef Season 5 Fixed: Courtney Lapresi Won Finale After Getting Preferential Treatment – Former Stripper Favoritism BY  STORMY ELIZABETH  ON SEPTEMBER 23, 2014 "They say if you can’t take the heat, you should get out of the kitchen, but what if you like it hot? If you’ve been watching  MasterChef this season 5 , you may have noticed that one contestant in particular seems to  be “winning” challenges  when her dishes don’t seem to be quite up to it.  Courtney Lapresi  has been billed as an “aerial dancer” on the show. So what exactly is that, you ask? It’s a fancy word for stripper. You may term what she does as burlesque, but nekked is nekked and she takes off her  clothes  when she dances, so you have to call them as you see them. Plus is it really fair that she’s up for a MasterChef win aft
Read more

A.W.A.D. - 14-Letter Words, 14-Letter Definitions

Back in 1994, when I founded Wordsmith.org on a Pi Day (March 14), I had no idea that one day we'd be celebrating its quadridecennial. Here's what the last 14 years look in numbers: So far we have sent out 3,782 unique words and 297 AWADmail compilations to 640,000 present subscribers in 200 countries, that is more than 1.6 billion pieces of email. Well, this week we're seeing all things 14. We'll feature words that are 14 letters long, and define each of them in 14 letters. acritochromacy (uh-KRIT-o-kro-muh-see) noun Color blindness. [From Greek akritos (undistinguishing) + chroma (color).] tintinnabulate (tin-ti-NAB-yuh-layt) verb intr. To ring; to tinkle. [From Latin tintinnabulum (bell), from tintinnare (to jingle).] tinctumutation (tinkt-myoo-TAY-shuhn) noun Change of colour. [From Latin tinctus (a dyeing) + mutation (changing).] Brobdingnagian (brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn) adjective Of gigantic size. [After Brobdingnag, the fictional region where everything was enormous
Read more

An Interesting Wife Swap...

Image
I'm catching up on our Wife Swap recordings. I'm watching the epiode Burroughs/Padovan-Hickman one that aired on 17 April 2009. The one I watched just before was really quite satisfying - the families both learned a lot and seemed to really take it to heart. This one, however, is back to the familiar mold of putting families that are so totally diametrically opposite families together that they almost can't get along. This is interesting, though, because the Padovan-Hickmans have electricity but don't use it, don't flush often, go for a week without showering and then the whole family uses the same bathwater... I can see where that would be hard, especially for me in that I have very oily skin and hair and would look rather wretched after the next day. But the family themselves are very likable and fun, the father looks more like a kindly grandfather, but really is quite intelligent and pleasant. I would have trouble with the clean thing and I'd miss my iPod
Read more