Bridzillas - the World's Stupidest Women

I haven't seen a single "Groomzilla" so I would have to imagine that this is a form of insanity that is strictly for women. Men can't understand the big thing about weddings and quite honestly, neither can I. (My friend Daniela, who is very much like me in things like this, can't understand it, as well.)

Bridezillas are an industry-wide term among wedding planners to refer to women who turn into absolutely evil wretched monsters like Godzilla that have to have everything just right, get involved in every little bit of minutae, torture their fiances, friends and family (and sometimes the wedding planner) and ay far, far more money than I would even consider for a lifetime of parties, forget just one.

I always maintained that our wedding, should we ever decide to go that route, which seems unlikely, would have a guest list about 20 people long. One bridesmaid, one groomsman. A place to have dancing and a nice dinner. No religious stuff, a JP (justice of the peace) or the mayor of Parsippany to do the actual nuptials. That's is. Total expense: maybe $3,000 for the whole nine yards.

Bridezillas are the stupidest women n the world. No matter how normal they started out, the moment they were engaged she turned into the evil creature of doom and non-budgeting. One couple had a budget of $30,000 and the wedding ended up costing $57,000. Another couple had a $100,000 wedding. That is a great downpayment on a house! What is wrong with people?

The more lavish the wedding, the shorter the marriage, has been my direct experience. And that is the truth. We have been to a million weddings and the ones that were outrageously expensive have all long since ended. The ones where the couple (not just the bride) concentrated on their marriage and not the one-day party, have mostly withstood the test of time.

Tom and Alayna had a really nice wedding with (to me) way too many people, but carried it off for a really reasonable price. And while there was some stress involved, and there always is some, neither one was nuts and no one had fights, and it all went really well. They enjoyed themselves and had a great time along with the rest of us. And Tom was as much a part of the planning as Alayna, not an accessory to go along with the bride. That is the right way to do this.

One of the brides on this show said, "What little girl doesn't want to be a princess?" Another misguided creature stated, "This day is all about the bride, not the groom." I hate to tell you this, you incredible moron, but without the groom (or another bride in deferrence to same-sex couples), you can't get married! A marriage is union between two people (or maybe more, if that is allowed). Without that other person, you are still single.

There are a couple of women who very nearly ended up single and by rights, they should have been. One American African woman was so abusive that Luis and I were rooting for the groom to dump her. Before, during, whenever - just don't marry this woman! There are plenty of other so many better, normal women out there. And then there is that small group of us who are wholly indifferent to our nuptials or even having them! I happen to like that about myself. Then again, my mother was never one to fill my young head with stupid ideas like a wedding day is the most important day of a woman's life (isn't that some misguided thinking!) or all women do is marry and have children.

Amazing.