Head Lights, SUVs, Morons with License to Drive

The life of a commuter is not an easy one. It is one fraught with danger and aggravation beyond imagining! Everytime I buckle myself into my car, I am well aware of the gauntlet that I am preparing to run. I am also a conscientious driver. I'm not saying I'm a great driver, but I am a defensive and more often polite driver than most, due to two big factors.

1. On 1 September 2001 at 20:22 I was struck by an SUV - on foot. It is no great leap to say that the irresponsible driver of that fiasco was not by any means driving safely. He was going well in excess of the speed limit, jumped a lane or two to get to the exit ramp that I was on (my car had run out of gas. My first and last time that that ever happened. I learned my lesson about how dangerous it is to run out of gas, ha, ha!) and locked up the brakes before striking the police car safely parked behind mine and then hitting my as I ran fast to get away from him. Had I remained where I was, he'd have struck me head on and killed me instantly (at least I hope it would have been instant...)

2. How many accidents have I been on as an EMT? I've lost count. Living in area that is incredibly densely populated and has several major arteries going through it, I have been on many, many motor vehicle collisions and they have ranged from the completely unmarked, zero-damage calls (a few) to the majority, minor to moderate damage, minor injuries to the "it happens but not as often as you might think" fatalities with the completely totaled vehicle. And the dead or dying people. I don't know what it does to others or how it affects other EMTs but it makes me a better driver. It is usually the stupidest things that make for these accidents - usually the driver is impaired but there are plenty of completely stone-cold sober drivers that tailgate and play musical lanes and just in general have horrendous driving practices.

So as a rule, I try to leave several car lengths between myself and the vehicle in front of me. I do not play musical lanes. I get to the lane I would like to be there and remain there until I need to think about departing that highway. I actually turn my head to look - really look and not rely on my rear and wing mirrors - to switch lanes, a habit that has saved my ass and my car more than I can count. It's also a habit bourne of driving the ambulance - there is no way to see out the back and the blind spots on the rigs are enormous!

Most other drivers could give a rat's behind about other drivers. They are looking out for the ol' number one and poorly at that.

That covers the morons with license to drive.

SUVs. Well, you can imagine that there is little good to say about those creatures. Clearly gas-guzzling and dangerous - but the fun of being taller than everyone else is there. However, it the price worth it? I don't mean the cost of the gas and the cost of the vehicle... if you are driving an SUV and get into an accident you will do a ton of damage to your opponent, especially if that individual is a standard size car. There is a much higher chance that you may fatally injure the other party. Then there is winter driving. Don't kid yourself and do NOT let those idiot manufacturers fool you into thinking that you will have better anything on the roads in snow. Most winter accidents that I have been on are SUV drivers that really thought his or her vehicle would not slide on snow-covered roads. Surprise! And ice? Forget that - ice is the great equalizer. Even our 14,000lb ambulance slides like a graceless elephant on ice. No one has anything that wins over frozen water.

I am always surprised (and laughing) when I see a little tiny 5'2" woman clamber down from the monster truck she owns/was driving. It looks absurd. And I think that it is crazy for someone that small to drive these bull-like creatures around because I know that their field of vision is not what it needs to be.

I also have theories on men with really big trucks. I believe that there is a direct and inverse relationship between a man's penis and the size (or speed or sportiness or price) of his vehicle. That's right. Shrek was right on when he gazed up and up and up at Farquaad's building and asked rhetorically, "D'ye think he's tryin' to compensate for sumpthin'?" The answer is yes. The middle aged bald man with the corvette, the idiot with a truck that requires a ladder to enter and exit... they are all compensating and you know for what.

And this brings us to head lights.

I find myself waiting to make a left onto Mountain Road from Shunpike or onto North Beverwyck from Vail and the person waiting to the same on the opposite side of the intersection is completely blinding me. In an SUV the damn things are right at my eye level and entirely too many people have trucks. In some annoying vehicles, the newer ones, it is equipped with these incandescent or fluorescent blue bulbs that would kill anyone's eyes. It is a horror. Or, like last night, some complete bloody ass had his high-beams on! AAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!

Commuting: the nightmare of getting from Point A to Point B...