Friday, 21 September 2007

Beauty & the Geek - Season Four

(I think it's Season Four... I watched some of last season, but not the others.)

Well, it is embarrassing to admit that I watch this with Luis but there it is - my dirty little secret is out. It's a completely frightening show. The guys are not in the least scary. Most of them, at least 90%, are very sweet, guileless guys who just are a little out of touch with what is happening in the world and fashion and what's in and popular. They look a little geeky, ranging from nothing a nice haircut can't cure to wow, you'll always look geeky. But they are all intelligent and most of them have a good sense of humour. They're socially awkward, but so what?

Then there are the beauties. A collection of women who are if not truly beautiful, at least pretty. Unfortunately most of them are blondes that without peroxide and other chemicals would not know one truly blonde colour moment. They are cutsey, bouncy creatures mostly with large breasts, and good figures. I am not usually crazy about the hair or faces; there is something... fake about them. Fake like Pamela Anderson. I don't know how to explain it.

And there is not a brain cell amoung them. Not one. When the people affiliated with the show were asking the different interested would-be contestants questions, the women were unbelievably dumb... I mean truly, incredibly, possibly not-for-real stupid. What is closer, the sun or the moon? You can't imagine the answers... the sun is closer, because it's much bigger... yikes. One of the candidates said, "Isn't the moon and the sun the same thing?"


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


Who wrote "Hamlet"?
One woman said, "Is that poetry? No, wait... I don't know anything about that."


Who one the Civil War?
One said, "Who was that between?"
Another said, "We did. The United States! We won everything!"

Do you know what word "Memo" is short for?
"As a journalism major I should know that, right? No."


What animal is the symbol of the Democratic party?
"A bird?"
What kind of bird?
"I dunno, a big bird."


One if the previous contestants asked her partner when D-Day was and he correctly responded, "1942". She looked a little aggrieved as she said, "no, 1942 is when Coloumbus sailed the ocean blue." Uh, no. Try 1492, idiot. If you don't know, say you don't know.

When they had the contestants narrowed down to the choices for the show, they had a psychologist meet with each of them to determine where the beaties fell in terms of intelligence (none) and the men in terms of social skills and romantic skills (also zero). The man interviewing the women asked one of the women to list the different countries of the world in alphabetical order, Her first answer? "Uh, Alabama?"

Oh, booooyyyy...

The alphabetical part would be difficult but I could take a stab at naming the A countries of the world: Armenia, Australia, Austria, Antarctica, Albania, Argentina... I'm sure I'm missing some. I wonder if I can name all 50 states. I'm sitting in the sunroom with Luis, who is watching some movie called The Philadelphia Experiment. I have no immediate access to a globe or map, so let me give it a try.

Alabama, Arkansas, Alaska, Arizona,
California, Colorado, Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Georgia (10)
Hawaii
Iowa, Illinios, Indiana, Idaho
Kansas, Kentucky
Louisiana
Minnesota, Missouri (20), Mississippi, Montana, Maine
North Dakota, New York, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New Jersey, North Carolina, Nevada (30)
Oregon, Ohio
Pennsylvania
South Carolina, South Dakota
Texas, Tennessee
Utah
Virginia, Vermont (40)
West Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin

I'm missing seven states... Hmmm. Which ones? Ah, Rhode Island. Easily forgotten, since it is so tiny. What else? Massachussets. Ummm... Oklahoma, Nebraska, uh... three left... I should know this. Well. I'll look now on the Internet and see what I've missed.

Maryland (geez, I've only been there how many times?!)
Michigan
Wyoming

Still, not bad.

How'd I do with A countries? Let's see...

Algeria
Azerbaijan

That was all I was missing. I like that. And Antarctica is not a country, I guess it is only a continent, since it is inhabited only with penguins and scientists. How funny.

But at least I can hold my own with geography.

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