The Bizarre World of Mormonism

I am getting a lesson in Mormonism from a fellow ebayer who has begun writing to me after I submitted a question about something being sold. Look at this:

Sorry, for not getting back to you sooner. My [child] wrestles and we left Friday and came back late last night from the tournament. It was about 2 hours away so we stayed out there over night. [Our child] kicked some serious Mormon ass and came in first place. I think I literally left one of my lungs there. I screamed like a maniac. So proud of him. Anyway, sorry I didn't get back to you sooner.

Actually, Mormons do look similar.

My [spouse] calls them elves. The typical male Mormon is tall (6'1 or taller) blue eyes, bald, thin, withdrawn in the face and somewhat long nose. Then you have the elf type Mormon male. Red hair, blue eyes, distinctive ears (like elves) and has more weight to them then the average Mormon. The women Mormons are all the same, blonde, big boobs, thin, blue eyes, usually the hair is perfectly straight looking, plus the clothes are flawless and preppy and look like they just came off the rack. They all wear black boots with heals that could kill. These women are not friendly; they think they are better then everyone. You go closer to Salt Lake City and there are less Mormons. I feel more at ease there. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around here. Worried I might say or act differently. That was when we first moved here. Now I really don't care what they think of me.

Anyway, hope this helps. I see you won the [item]. Cool. Oh yeah, before I forget. Mormons stay home onsundays. They go to church for 3 hours, one hour is for church, hour for seminar on how [to] be a better wife and mother and I think the last hour is a rec. hour. Anyway, after church they come home and do family things and are not allowed out. They're kids are not allowed to play with other kids on Sundays. If they want to play they are suppose to play in the back yard where it is fenced in. My [spouse's] boss' kids who are non-Mormon went over to play on a Sunday and the mom came out and told them to go home. His kids [were] thinking they did something wrong. Stange people. But for us to go to the food store it's great because we go out and no traffic. We love it. Everybody out on a Sunday is non-Mormon. I really like Sundays."

How's that? I am floored! I was thinking that maybe they wore lapel pins or something that would give them away as Mormons, but apparently just physical/genetic marks give them away! Who knew? I'm fascinated. I think Mormons are completely nuts and now I know the truth - they are inbred and nuts!