Chandler's Shoppe

A man walked into a chandler's shoppe, some candles for to buy
He looked around the chandler's shoppe, but no one did he spy
Well, he was disappointed so some angry words he said
When he heard the sound of a [pony ride], right above his head
When he heard the sound of a [pony ride], right above his head

Well, this young man was a bold young man, so up the stairs he sped
And very surprised was he to find the chandler's wife in bed
And with her was a fine young man of most incredible size
And they were having a [pony ride] right before his eyes
And they were having a [pony ride] right before his eyes

When the fun was over and done and the lady raised her head,
She was quite surprised to find him standing by the bed
"If you would keep my secret sir, if you would be so kind,
You may drop in for a [pony ride] whenever you feel inclined."
"You may drop in for a [pony ride] whenever you feel inclined."

So, many a day and many a night when the chandler wasn't home
Down to the chandler shop, for candles he would roam.
But nary a one she sold to him, but gave to him instead,
Just a little bit more of the [pony ride] to light his way to bed
Just a little bit more of the [pony ride] to light his way to bed.

So, all you married men take heed, whenever you go to town,
If you must leave your woman alone, be sure to tie her down.
Or, if you would be kind to her, just lay her right down on the floor,
And give her so much of that [pony ride] she doesn't want any more.
And give her so much of that [pony ride] she'll be saddle sore.