Taking the Fun Out of Dysfunctional

Where my mother's family made huge strides forward this weekend, I realised how lucky we are to have Luis as he is. His family is... well... I just don't know. Staggeringly religious. Enormously right-wing conservatives that make the conservative people I know raging liberals. It was an educational and scary evening.

Anna and Kirk were the first to get here this afternoon and it is always a pleasure and treat to see them. We were chatting about different things when Luis' and Anna's father, Luis Augusto, came up... that must have been around 1630. He and his siblings, Lucia, Isabel and Iggy, had gone into NYC Friday night and yesterday and when he got in he took a nap. He was very late for his nap - he usually takes it around 1230 and gets up around 1400 but this time he got in later than his wake up time.

When he came up we started a new conversation. We were rolling along with that when Iggy came with Lucia, Gustavo and Stewart. Lucia is Luis' and Anna's aunt, Gustavo is her husband and Iggy is Luis' and Anna's uncle. Stewart is their uncle, too, but he is married to Isabel, who is Luis Augusto's brother. Isabel went to church because they have an 0830 flight back and can't get to church this morning.

Iggy and Luis Augusto are usually quick to get into a pissing contest, and almost always over how well they know the church services and/or stuff from the Bible. Please shoot me now. The relationship is quite something to see in action. No matter how normal any conversation starts out, at some point it deteriorates into religion. And I have to say Anna warned us how this would go - it would begin as a discussion about politics, and it is a large part of the culture to get into political debates. It is okay for me to be liberal but as long as I never, ever admit to being pro-choice, all will be forgiven.

The conversation will turn to religion and then I should withdraw, as we will never see eye-to-eye on this. OK. I get that. Ultra-religious people hate Roe v. Wade and will do anything to overturn it. It is a not-for-discussion area.

It is just after 0400 and I am not functioning well at this time... not to mention I have been up since 0600 yesterday. I will get to bed soon. Anyway, this may not be the most linear post I have up.

Iggy looks a lot like Luis A. They both have similar features, and amazingly enough, Luis A. is the tallest of them, which makes Iggy around my height. A little weird, I grant you. I have a 6' biological father and a 6'4" father and his brother is 6'7". I am unaccustomed to short men. Even most of the men I deal with the most at work are tall. I am more comfortable looking up at men than making eye contact at my level! Lucia is a pleasantly plump, very dark haired woman who is in the age range of her siblings, but shorter and younger looking. Isabel, who goes by "la Nena", is more like a nun, is taller but always has a harsh, disapproving look. I won't say I helped by wearing a penticle (she knows what the symbol is but has no idea what it stands for and could care less. She has a Ph.D in Christianity (proof that one can be a doctor without a shred of medical knowledge) and is very disapproving of all other religions. Stewart is tall and has the soft twang of a southern state (he is from Georgia originally) and wears suspenders. He is a very sweet man and was a pleasure with whom to speak. Gustavo is shorter than all of the men (and my Luis the tallest) and has a high-pitched, almost pip-squeak voice. I wish someone had warned me because the first time he spoke I almost laughed.

At first when Iggy returned with La Nena, the conversation moved along nicely but at some point after the political discussion, the toipc turned to religion. Maybe I am not thrilled about living with Luis A. but I will say that he is very, very liberal in comparison to his three siblings. He is a huge advocate of keeping government and religion separate - a beautiful thing. The rest all chimed in about how the government should allow religion to have a place in there, almost entirely on the basis of overturning the abortion laws. They were getting into a huge discussion about this and I hated it - taking away a person's right to make their own decisions because you want to save them from burning in hell for all eternity (I'm not kidding) - not OK. If people are supposed to make their own decisions, then free will is the key to it. These people all want to take that most basic of rights away.

I would never be one to say anything about the dictates of god (or God) but I do know that free will is a huge part of the religion and so is the biggest key to this. What a nerve to want to take that away. The conversation was so distasteful that I left the room and went into the kitchen. In the kitchen was Anna, Kirk and Luis and Anna was talking about finding a way to steer the conversation away from this subject. We were unable to find a way to do it but it suddenly resolved itself - much to our relief!

But it came up throughout the evening, such gems as "you're being an HR Manager and an EMT was preordaned before the stars were created in heaven". Yowza. So not only do I not get credit for making my own success but it was never an option for me to be or do anything else. What an amazing thing. I did not know what to say and even found myself smiling and nodding. So not like me. Luis had to admit that I was very well-behaved - it is not in my nature to let things like that pass.

We went to the restaurant at 2145 and we had a short wait and we would have had a better table with more space but Iggy really was short and not just a little out-of-line with the hostess. We were seated faster but the table was a little too cozy for me - how stupid to be so awful to the person seating you! I apolised for his behaviour to her.

While we were waiting for the table, La Nena asked me why we are not married. I said I couldn't care less and as far as I was concerned, I didn't care what the government thought. I also have little desire to take the name Gomez and threw that in. She asked if Luis wanted to get married and I said no, he was happy with our current status. I was surprised she did not comment on religion or our lack of children. I suspect that had there been enough time, she would have asked.

She did say that I had sent her an e-mail asking her to talk Luis into marrying me. I said that is unlikely, since I have never been hung up on that.

Oy vey.

When the night was over and done, and his father gone to bed, I hugged Luis and said, "Yours is definitely a only-in-small-doses family." Luis laughed at that.

I'm not kidding, though, and Luis understands and agrees that they are a little hard to take.