Friendships Are a Little Like Backyard Gardens...

...we plan to tend to them, we just always somehow put it off 'til next week."

This is a quote from Jerry "Hands" Espenson on Boston Legal. And the sad thing is, it is true. We do work at our friendships from time to time, but we let everything else get in the way. Work, family, outside influences... all seem to worm their way into the schedule ahead of the important nuturing of our closest and best advocates - our friends.

There is only so much that work, money, family, sex and food can fix or help with - but friends perform magic! Even though they may annoy you or drive you crazy, they are there to get you through the bad times and bring more joy to the good ones. They bring the sun back into your life when you're thinking it can't get any darker.

And friendship can come from the funniest sources. The people you think you would never get on with can turn out to be the best friend you have ever had. Life lessons to be had.

After putting Ariel to sleep, friends sent messages from all over telling how sorry, truly and incredibly sorry, they were to read that. I cried more to read those, but why? Not just because of the subject matter... but because all the messages I got were real, honest, heartfelt, I-wish-I-could-be-there-to-hug-you notes. Nothing else mattered but to tell me that. Most of the time we whinge about stupid and small things, but suddenly, in the face of my personal tragedy, which may not mean anything in the grand scheme of things but tore my heart to shreds, people sent the most wonderful things. Things that no one can say to someone who isn't a friend. Some are from the squad, some from work, some people I've known for years, but from all corners of life and the world warm and fuzzy things came.

I needed that. I still do. I feel sad, but the pain is bearable and friends have made it so.

My parents are my friends, too, and they did not hesitate to say, "Yes, you can come over" at 2330 at night right after the worst event. And they are people I let everything down for them to see me emotionally naked, crying and hysterical with grief. Only for friends can anyone cry with that kind of abandon. Even me. And I emote and cry without shame in front of anyone if I'm so moved.

Well, I certainly emote well - I don't cry that much. Ignore the movie thing (most women cry at the movies), in general I'm not one to cry. But this? Not even close. My parents and Luis, that's it, to see me so reduced. And they're my best friends.

I feel better for having blogged, and this one has been rattling inside for some time!