I like to call it "better living through modern chemistry". As long as I can laugh at it, it seems more livable.
But is it?
Every couple of months I have to struggle with the online pharmacy and getting my medications. It seems to be torture - for me, not for them - and I have to fight with them constantly. Then I need to fill stuff through the regular pharmacy and that is a fight, too. Groan.
I can't seem to make them understand how difficult this is and get it all straightened out. That the one medication is the difference between functioning and being bed-ridden. This need not be so bloody hard.
You'd think I'd get used to this but really, there is no dealing with them - they try to be pleasant and I start out well enough but after a few minutes I'm ready to kill them. And the stuff they DO refill, they refill incorrectly. A ten day supply of something? I think not - why would I ask for that through the online system? That would be pointless.
They said I'll have to pay the full amount for the drug. Fine. I don't care. I care about being able to get up everyday. I don't care about the rest; after getting up, it is all gravy. What about liver damage? No - my liver owes me - I never drink alcohol, for years I never used pharmaceuticals. I've lived a healthy life up until maybe six or seven years ago. And then the wonder of the latest muscle relaxant made life seem perfect. But if I have to fight with them every time I need to refill it, is it worth it? (The answer remains "yes", because I can live nearly a normal life with it. So I keep fighting. It has to be worth it. I suppose anything hard is...)
I'm tired. Tired of being sick, tired of fighting with them, just tired of all of it. Why couldn't I have escaped the evil MD gene? I usually don't ask that - I certainly understand genetics well enough - but sometimes this gets the better of me and I can't help but ask. Or demand. Or get upset about it. I want to live a normal life. I try to be strong about it but this gets old. I seem to lose everything to this wretched disease.
Enough about this.