Just a Teensy Bit of Free Time

When I first left work, I had this puzzle I was working on. At the time I left, I barely had Spring completed. It was creeping along...

Notice my blog has been creeping along and suddenly this month I've posted a month's worth in a mere 14 days? That is a LOT of free time.

I've actually had a lot of free time over the last three months, but I haven't really felt good about it. I figured with enough time I would reach the "I feel better about this point" and while I might still kinda get down about it, in general, I would start to feel better. (Wow. What a poorly structured sentence that is...!) Well, I have reached that point.

Not that I didn't think I would. I just did not know how long it would take.

It feels so much better to be more my sunny self again. Like I said, I may get down about it again, but at least it will be temporary. I suspect I'll feel it more in the winter. I thrive on sunlight. We have the longer days now, so I'm thriving. And today was - since 1300 - a much improved day! I got really good news and I can't share it (at least not right now) but it was great to get that. I suddenly feel like cheering!

Now, if it would just be sunny and warm outside so I could return to my beloved hammock, life would be perfect! (In some ways I am very complicated, in some ways very simple. Give me a hammock by day; give me the stars at night.) Tomorrow night I'll go outside to see the stars and the Moon, which has also been occluded by weather the last few days. I might have even missed the full Moon. I hate when that happens. Oh! The Moon phase is 98% - so I may see it just past fullness tomorrow. I can live with that!

Wondering about the Moon? Go to http://www.almanac.com/moon. I love the site - but the books are better. I have centuries worth of Old Farmers' Almanacs. Even some from the 1800s. The first one came out in 1792 but I have not been able to find a copy (and even if I did, the likelihood that I could afford it is minimal! But I would be satisfied just to hold it in my hands for a few minutes!)

Ah, history! I hated it as a kid. But teachers with tenure sucked all the joy out of it - now as an adult I enjoy history quite a lot. I love watching Pawn Stars because Rick Harrison has a huge love of history and his knowledge - as much as he downplays it - is incredible. I love his enthusiasm. I get it completely. He had an original of the WANTED poster for John Wilkes Booth in his hands, but the gentleman who had it could not agree on the price for it -- AAAAAAAA! I would have been heartbroken to let it out of my sight! Especially this - for the man who killed the unarguably best president this country ever had!

I wouldn't have missed either Bush; no one would be the worse for their absence. But to kill Abraham Lincoln - that is unforgivable. That sign is history. The worst part of it, following a great man. But all history is valuable - especially of the lessons learned. (So many people think the Civil War was about slavery, and there was a small truth to that, but it really was a combination of innumerable factors. Slavery, sadly, was the smallest part of it. And it is not as though the moment the war ended, life improved for the slaves; many were given freedom, but the country still as a whole did not treat freed slaves well. And it took decades upon decades for them to be recognised as PEOPLE. An appalling thing, a blot in our history that can never be fixed or atoned for. This was not a proud time in our history...

And who is to say that anything has really changed? We are always at war with someone, it seems. Right now most of the negative feeling centers around Middle Eastern people. I know some wonderful people who came here from Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Iraq - and for my life to come, I'd not have it otherwise. They have told me of what life was like in their former countries. I've read Reading Lolita in Tehran. This was not easy. A person close to me, who is 8 months younger than me, left Afghanistan when she was in her early teens. Her family sneaked out under cover of the night. She has lived far more in her 42 than I have in my 43. How do you put a price on that? I cherish my freedom; but she understands it in a way that I never will - I have never not known this freedom, never known what it truly costs to have it.

Some of the best people I am learning from are those who came from India - well, their parents did - and have been teaching me more of their culture, beliefs, etc. I am enriched by the people I meet and talk to - so much more than even they realise. I love learning - and learning about people is the best.

Because people are the best - enough of us that despite our history and even current problems, I have to believe that we can be better than that.

It seems that the free time that I was so afraid of - and depressed about - has paid off. I've moved through all four seasons in a 3,000 piece puzzle - and I have moved through fire to the come out on the other side of the sun - shining. Only by going through the pain can you come to that point.


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