The Wonderful World of Nothing - Q&A Monday

This is always a worthwhile stop in blogdom:

Wow, did that last week fly by. I’d chalk that up to the prescribed painkillers I was on all week, but I asked around and was told that yes, the week did seem to go by quickly, as did the month of July. Why it seems like just yesterday I was in the pool, grilling and watching fireworks. Wait, actually, I was. Ok, let’s try it this way: it seems like just yesterday that we were celebrating the birth of our nation and it’s already been a month.

I guess as we get older we end up paying for all those times as kids that we sat around saying that something was taking forever and that we were bored. Granted, I still lament that daily from my cubicle, but that’s beside the point because I have the maturation of a fine piece of sharp cheddar: 1 ½ years. And speaking of cubicles and segues, I have been playing with the idea of putting on a play in my office. I was thinking we’d do ‘The Crucible From A Cubicle.’ It’s just in the planning stages and I’ll probably be assigned to some project or deadline that will derail me, but I like the title.

OK, now to the answers to your questions.

The rules are the same: I make things up instead of research them because it’s quicker so you should probably not repeat what you are about to read to anyone and I will probably but accidentally overlook someone’s question. Oh, and I like cheese. Now here we go…

Patti is first up this week with this gem: ‘ Would 'I hate when that happens' qualify as a TWSS statement?’

Yes Patti, it most certainly would, though most men would cringe having to tell someone that that’s actually what she said. But if you used it with a TWSS, then you can excitedly add yourself to the growing list of people I am getting to say TWSS through my sheer willpower of annoyance!

Ralph asked: 'On top of a French Onion Soup, is a Gruyère or a Swiss cheese better for melting into the tasty, gooey, stringy, molten melted mess top of the crock? Cheeseheads need to know! '

I would go with Swiss, though I haven't had Gruyere in a very long time. I am also currently renewing my love affair with Mizithra, but that has no place on French Onion Soup. And here's a tip you may (or most likely may not) wish to use. I scoop up all the molten cheesy goodness, put it aside and eat it last, just as I do with the crispy skin of fried chicken.

Employee No. 3699 asked ‘Who will win the next American Idol? Also, what would be your ideal ice cream truck song?’

I haven’t watched Idol since Carrie Underwood and Kelly Pickler, so I’m not too current on the show, but I am guessing a leggy blonde with marginal singing talent. Or possibly a guy who fits the same description. Although short athletes with a better center of gravity seem to do pretty well. Wait, that might be Dancing With The Stars.

As for my favorite ice cream truck song I’d have to say I like the idea of either ‘Convoy’ or ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’ Seriously, probably a Beach Boys’ song. That seems to fit the summery mood. Although, Johnny Cash’s ‘Folsom Prison Bluse’ is kinda catchy…

Amy asked a very intriguing question this week: ‘Does your wife laugh in hysterics by your comments daily? Does she think you are funny?’

Well Amy, remember a few sentences ago when I said that I was able to get people to say That’s What She Said through the sheer willpower of annoyance? That kind of sums up the way I am at home. I wouldn’t say that she laughs in hysterics daily, but then in her defense, we’ve been married 11 ½ years. She does think I’m funny and we have lots of fun together, but we’ve become convinced that my personality should be treated like chemotherapy. It can be good for you, but in very small doses.

Mel asked ‘what's your favorite board game and why?'

You could also tell me your favorite bored game, which for some reason I think might involve singing and the copy machine or getting under your desk with a block of cheese.’ My favorite board game has always been Monopoly. I like the idea of making money and putting up properties and trying to make deals with my family and friends when I have overspent and am essentially broke and then land on Boardwalk. I don’t know a lot of people that enjoy playing it, so we usually don’t get it out very often. You were very close about my favorite bored game. I also like to go around annoying coworkers when I am bored at work. They don’t seem to enjoy it, but it sure brightens up my day. Over time, you begin to learn what specifically annoys each coworker and then you become able to personalize your annoyances, which does reward one with an extra special sense of achievement and accomplishment. We all need goals. And finally this week, we have 3 questions from

Aislinge. She asked ‘1. Will the partial eclipse be visible to the Northern New Jersey part of the US and what time? 2. What is the craziest celebrity baby name you have heard of? Your thoughts on the parents' naming their offspring this way? 3. Would you go to the Moon on Nasa's next manned space flight if they came to you and offered you this opportunity?'

I believe the partial eclipse will be visible in Northern New Jersey, unless you are on the turnpike because the pikes will obscure the view, at least while you are turning. I think the best time to view was between 8pm and 8:03pm. And you are right, I have never been to New Jersey. Was it that obvious? I was trying to be subtle.

The craziest celebrity name I have ever heard of is probably Frank Sinatra Jr. Seriously people, these ARE the jokes… Honestly, it’s probably Moon Unit Zappa or whatever his name is. Although Dweezil ain’t too sweet either. Then there is George Foreman naming all of his kids George. I don’t know why parents feel they should give their children horrible names. It’s not the parent that has to go around having that name for the rest of their lives. No child should have a name that invites derision and mockery. I should know, because I’m a Christmas baby, my real name is not Michael – it’s Noel. Yes, I’m kidding. Though if I had been a girl, that would have been my name.

I would definitely go to the moon if asked by NASA. I’d probably get in trouble though for being too touristy. I’d have my picture taken with my foot inside Neil Armstrong’s footprints and I’d salute the flag that the Apollo 11 crew left just they way that they did and I’d most likely spend a lot of time on the moon trying to do Michael Jackson’s moonwalk. I’d also have mission control very angry with me because I’d be way too tempted to end every other sentence with ‘Houston, we have a problem’ and that would just make me giggle incessantly like a 12-year-old school girl.

Ok, that does it for this week’s Q & A. A big thank you to everyone who sent in questions this week. I’ll gladly answer more next Monday. Here’s hoping everyone has a great week and that the blog ideas flow forth like the new leak in my kitchen faucet or the slurred words from the mouth of Farrah Fawcett.