Tuesday, 18 October 2011

The Queen's Meme - #99 - The 99 Meme

Welcome to The Queen's Meme #99
7 Royal Questions on Tuesday
Today I thought I'd give you 99 questions to answer in honor of the 99th meme. Just kidding! Instead, I'll give you 7 questions that just seem like 99.
Here we go.

Surprisingly, it's called The 99 Meme

1. Let's take that famously irritating song, Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on The Wall. Tell me....What would you substitute for those bottles of beer? Your song would be "Ninety-nine glasses of candles on the Wall."
Fill in the blanks.

2. Let's go to the 99 cents store. What do you think should be made available for 99 cents at the 99 cents store? I am a total snob. You won't find me shopping in a 99¢ ever. But if I could find Yankee or Illuminations candles for 99¢, I'd a happy, happy camper!

3. The great world of Wikipedia tells me that scientists claim 99% of all documented species are extinct. Which remaining species in the 1% category would you really like to see extinct.  And which species in the 99% category would you like to bring back? I would bring back Tyrannosaurus Rex for the sheer entertainment value and kill off the lowest common denominator - stupid people. There are just far too many of them. Whose gonna miss them? That makes it even (no racial group stripped) and makes the human population more manageable. Or is that wrong? I tend not to think so.

4.  Why is merchandise always priced as 1.99 or 20.99 or 50,287.99? Do they think we're stupid? Yes, indeed. Marketing people are perfectly aware of the human propensity for missing key things. Refer to Question #3. The lowest common denominator misses all that stuff.

5. If you live to be 99 years old, what would you like your life to be like in that last decade?Glorious. Wonderful. Full of astronomy, sharp living, reading, blogging, drawing, being happy! Just like most of my four and a half decades have been.

6. Tumblr has a new blog called "We Are The 99%" brought to you by "the people who occupy Wall Street." Everyday people are writing notes on paper about their experiences and living conditions right now. Can you identify with the 99% on this page? I am out on permanent disability. I was fortunate enough to work for a great place and provided people with jobs and benefits... but NJ Disability keeps turning down my application for disability. I will need to pay for COBRA benefits beginning this month (at a cost of $460) and have very little money coming in after working my whole life. I love my former company - they are the 1% who gives everything to the 99% that work there - but the government - who has undoubtedly zero experience with myotonic muscular dystrophy - is the 1% that is making me miserable. I am the 99%, now. And I was before I came to my most recent employer. If only the disability people knew...

7.  I think armpits should get more respect than this. According to the advice of medical personnel: If your child's temperature is more than 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit measured rectally, or more than 100 degrees Fahrenheit measured in the mouth, or more than 99 degrees Fahrenheit measured in the armpit (for 4-5 minutes), he or she has fever.

Why do you think  armpits are so slow to register heat? Easy - your arm pits provide a ton of heat to begin with. Open your arm, it all dissipates to allow it to cool down. I hate to say it, but anal thermometers are still the best for an accurate snapshot of one's body temp. They are not fun for the patient, but they are accurate.

No comments: